February

Well, you know how you sometime do things of the spur of the moment. Something completely out of character for you. I did that today. Dieter and I when to the Galleria Mall and as we walked past a piercing Pagoda I suddenly had a compulsion to get my ears pierced. And I did! I now have two white gold stud ear rings. God what is the reaction to the old men I play tennis going to be? I'm excited to see their reaction. I guess that are all going to surmise that I'm gay for sure when they see the two earrings! Good! That the reason for them. I want all these old men at Wynmoor to know I'm gay without having to actually tell them. Now whenever I meet a new old man at the tennis court he's going to take one look at my earrings and presume that I'm gay. Might make for some interesting conversations!

What a way to start the new year. And I like them! Me who doesn't wear any jewelry suddenly like wearing two stud earrings! Middle age crises? No, I think it's something I've always wanted to do deep in the back of my mind. Now I've finally done it.

02/02/05

No one in the group said a word about my pierced ears and the white gold post. Finally after about a half an hour of hitting when we were all taking a rest, I said. "Isn't someone going to say something about my ear rings?

Then they made a few comments. "You got one of those thing in your tongue? Are you nipple pierced? How about down below? It is pierced." And that was it. If I hadn't said anything I guess no one would have mentioned the piercing. But I bet they were all thinking about it.

So, am I still glad I had my ears pierced. YES. I like it. And I think the old guys and gals that see me at Wynmoor will automatically think I'm gay. Good. That one of the reasons I got my ears pierced. I feel at my age it like carrying a stamp on my forehead that reads "GAY".

But must say that the earrings are bothering me. The holes are sore. For some reason my right one is hurting more that the left one. I have some cleaning solution that I swab the holes with. Hopefully in a couple of more days the right ear hole will stop bothering me.

Tomorrow Dieter and I are going out to lunch with Sal and Irwin. God, I wish I could get naked with Irwin, but we don't have any opportunity. I never see them with out Dieter. I love big balls and Irwin has huge ones. Although Sal is my close friend, he doesn't interest me sexually at all. I don't know where we are going for lunch. There's a new Deli open in Fort Lauderdale. "Dorthy's Deli" Seems to be the meeting place at the moment. I saw a lots of old men along with an equal number of muscle bears. Maybe we'll go there and then to Storks for coffee. Ok. Time for me to do a little reading.

02/06/05

What, not watching the Super Bowel? What? You queer or something? Yea, I guess so. Can't get excited about the Super Bowel.

These damn earrings are bothers me. My ear lobs are as shore as hole. And God, you got to keep rinsing them and the holes several times a day. And twist them. And still the holes are sore. Didn't know it was going to be this much trouble. But, I still like them. Actually they are just earring post. White gold post. Got to keep them in for 6 weeks before I put real earrings in.

I got asked by the president of our tennis association to fill in for one of their regular players for a doubles game. It was the President, Leo, and a women against me and an Ron, a senior about 70. I had seen Ron play before. He didn't know me. Finally asked me my name. And as he asked he really looked hard at my earrings. THAT WHY I GOT MY EARS PIERCED! I want guys like him to look at me and think "Queer". Then I want to show them that I'm no different from any one else. Well, I wish I could say that I blow them off the court. That's not the case. My serves is shit under pressure. Ron held serve but I lost serve still we were even with the other side 2 games all. But from there it went down hill. I hit some terrible shots and couldn't hold my serve. We lost 2 games to 6.

Still I didn't feel to bad about my play. I hit some shots good enough that Ron acknowledged them. My serve failed me mainly because I kept going for aces and missing by less than an inch. And when I could have ended a point with a winner, I put too much pace on the shot. So if I had served just to get the ball in and hit with a little more touch on some shots, the out come would have been far different.

The lady that I played against asked after the game how long I had been playing. I told her this month made it one year. She said. "You are going to be really good!" Leo spoke up and said. "He practices every day." It made me smile and I thanked everyone for letting me play with them and went over to the court were my regular group was hitting.

George asked me right away how it went. I told him my side lost. "But how did you do?" He asked. Gee, he's such a sweet man. I like him a lot. But I do have to laugh at how he goes out of his way to indicate that he's straight. I just chuckle to myself.

Jerry came over to hit with me Friday for thirty minutes. He knows that I quit at 12:00. Sometimes he come over at 11:30 and hit with me when I'm on court 7 hitting against the backboard. We have so much fun. For some reason, I feel so free around him. I joke with him as I try to out hit him and he tries to out hit me. Although he's, I think, 74 and I'm 58 we are like to teenagers out there on the court. Of course he didn't say a word about my earrings. But I'm sure he noticed.

My oldest sister is coming to visit next Saturday. I haven't told her I have two earrings. I'm sure she'll going to be surprised to say the least. I did tell my youngest sister, the one with the four kids that I enjoy so much. Well, the kids were shocked when she told them. Nick, the oldest boy, said. "He got two earrings! Two! Why at his age? What kind are they?" The youngest girl Samantha said "That's not the Uncle Pete I know" My sister said they all were dumbfounded by the news.

Good. Let them see that you can be different, if you have the courage. Just wished that I had done it 30 years ago in the small town in Iowa where I was living at the time. Would have given the locals a reason for calling me queer.

02/14/05

Ok, I hope all you Queens and Kings have a nice valentine's day. My sister is visiting so I guess Dieter and I will take them out for dinner tonight. I thought they would stay at the condo but because they brought their tiny little lap dog along they decided to stay in a near by hotel. Of course I just think my brother-in-law is uncomfortable staying with us, but then that's his problem if it's true.

They are from Dothan, Alabama and on central standard time so instead of showing up for breakfast at 9:00AM they forgot about the time difference and came at 10:00AM. Needless to say I didn't make it to the tennis courts until 11:00AM and of course my group was finished hitting and sitting around at the club house chatting. I stayed a moment and said my hellos . . . especially to George before going to the court to practice. I was just working on my second bag of balls, serving, when Jerry showed up.

We hit for almost an hour. And as always it was fun. He is such an fun guy to be around and so damn good looking. Would love to see him naked. He must be very hair. Anyway, he serves me balls and I return them then I serve him balls. I can put away 80% of his serves for points. He usually gets my serves back but isn't able to put the ball away. Still he's a damn good player. And at 74 he moves like someone 20 years younger. He's not as fast as I am. I've still got young legs and can motor along when I have to.

He said he was out practicing because he would be able to play tennis tonight, his usual night to play, because he had to take his wife out because it's Valentine's Day. As we were leaving the court he told me to be sure to take my wife out for Valentine's Day. I told him I wasn't married. That I had a boyfriend. And reminded him that I had told him that fact before. He was taken aback. He thought I had been joking. He then asked why my boyfriend didn't play tennis with me and I told him that Dieter is older than me and isn't mobile enough to play tennis. He then said, oh, I'll see you tomorrow. I always enjoy hitting with you. Then paused and thought about it and added. "Well let's take it a day at the time. I never know when I can practice."

I just called over my shoulder that I'm always around.

Let's see if he hits with me again. Now that he knows that I'm gay he might not want to be seen on the court with me. He'll probably think about it and then come to that conclusion. I hope it doesn't happen that way. You know guilt by association. And I'm sure he doesn't want people to think he's gay.

So, I've probably screwed up a nice relationship with him. But that's the way I am. If people don't know I'm gay then they don't really know me. And if he's afraid to be seen on the court with me, I can live with that and respect it. Life is all about choices. I made my choice by telling him I'm gay, now let's see what choice he makes.

02/22/05

Well, not a hell of a lot has been happening. Tennis, tennis and more tennis. My oldest sister and her husband (and their spoiled little dog) came for a visit. Luckily they decided to stay in a motel because of the dog. So that made it easy. I took them to 33rd and Dine (the French Restaurant just off A1A two blacks north of Oakland Park Blvd.) their last night and they loved it! It's actually a very romantic restaurant. I saw two table of gays while we were there. And a couple of the old men were to die for!

Before my sister came we had been getting together with Sal and Irwin a couple times a week and basically spending the entire afternoon with them after a nice lunch. We went to Dorthy's Deli, just across the street from Hamburger Mary's. It is a hoot. And there were two old men sitting in the table across from us that I would have loved to have had a ramp in the bed with both of them at the same time. They were hot! Then we went to Stork's new place on Los Olas. Nice. If you want a romantic place for coffer along a canal then stop by.

Now tennis. I wrote in the journal a while back that I had mentioned to Jerry (the 77yo hairy to die for guy I hit balls with once in a while) on Valentine's Day that I had a boy friend. Well last week he sought me out and we hit balls together. He was very friendly and talkative. He mentioned that he didn't have sex with his wife in passing after I had mentioned Viagra. I didn't follow up on the comment. I just let it drop. I'm afraid to come on to him as it might break up our budding friendship.

I've hit with him a couple times since then. And today I was going over to court 7, which has the backboard, and Jerry and his wife were on court 5 hitting the ball. Well I thought I should walked by with out saying hello to Jerry. But before I got past the court he called out. "Hello Pete." I stopped and say hello back. Then he asked if I wanted to hit against him and has wife. I said sure.

His wife seemed surprised that Jerry had asked me. She even asked him if he was tired, thinking that he had asked me to hit against her. He told her no he wasn't tired that I could hit against the two of them. She seem to accept this a little reluctantly. I of course approached her and shook hands with her as I said hello and that it was nice to meet here. She asked if I was a pro and I laughed and said no that I had only been playing tennis for a year.

So with Jerry and his short stout, dark complexioned wife on one side and me on the other side we started hitting. I made sure I hit the ball easy to Jerry's wife and really bombed it at him. His wife was terrible but I try to make Jerry look bad while making her look good and praising her each time she made a half way decent shot. And I make joking comments as I missed some of her and Jerry's shots. She seemed to warm up to me. I was very attentive to her and when I saw her glance at her watch, I knew it was time to stop. So I called out to Jerry that they had run me ragged and I had enough.

As I was getting my tennis bag the three of us chatted. His wife said I was very good. I told her that my serve was terrible but that I planned on working on it every day for the next three or four months to get it in shape. She said that I had lots of discipline. I told her that if I wanted to get better I had no choice. That's when Jerry said. "Yea, it good when you practice every day if it's only for thirty minutes. I knew he was putting in that comment hoping that she would start letting him come to the tennis court more often. Because there is no question who's the boss in that family. So, I left them with the wife saying she would practice her serve which Jerry said was horrible.

I find it interesting that Jerry seems to want to be my friend and even introduced me to his wife. I would jump in bed or blow him in a New York minute! I'm not sure about him. I do try to touch him on the arm or shoulder as often as I get a change. And he doesn't seem to mind. (Of course I didn't touch him around his wife). I'm not going to push myself on Jerry. I'm just going to let things develop which ever way nature carries it.

Oh, on Monday after I finished hitting with the group, Irvin (90yo) asked me what kind of website I had. Willy (late 80's) who lives in my building has left early so there was only Irvin, George (82) and Burt (78) still on the court. They were all within ear shot when I answered. "I have a gay website." "Well hope you are making money with it. There's lots of gays." Irvin replied. "I make a little. It's a website for senior gay men." I added. Irvin quickly steered the conversation to another subject without commenting on my last statement. George and Burt didn't utter a word. Their reactions plainly told me that didn't want any part of the conversation.

02/27/05

Well another month almost to bit the dust. Spring is on the way. But lets face it, in South Florida winter is like spring. Here spring means more rainy and windy days. The temps will be in the 80's and nights in the 60's. Nothing to complain about there.

Dieter's cancer is beginning to progress. He's got another spot on his leg and it seems to be growing rather quickly. I think this is going to be a critical year for him. Melanoma can spread fast once it gets going. Yea, he could take chemo, but test show it rarely works on Melanoma and if it does one life expectancy isn't extended more than a few months. So one has to stop and think if one wants to be sick from chemo during those last few months. Dieter is not in that stage yet. I'm still hopeful that he has years to live. And I honestly think he does. He's tough. And it might not be the cancer that gets him at all. He has other health issues that are life threatening.

So, I guess some of the reason that I have thrown myself into tennis is to blot out what might or might not happen to Dieter. I'm just living in the here and now and enjoying it. And if I wasn't pursuing tennis, I would be wanting to go to the bars and meet people. Of course that would lead to secret meeting and sex. No, I don't want that. Therefore, I've turned to tennis.

God am I deep into tennis. Read about it daily. Practice hours a day. Sometimes with good results and sometimes without. Trying to get a decent, reliable serve is about to drive me to distraction. Sometimes I get so depressed with my serve that I can hardly stand it. But then, I go right back on the court and practice some more.

There is a round robin tournament on the 19th of March. It's more of a social advent than a competitive one. I asked Burt (78yo but not my type) if he wanted to partner up with me for it. He said yes. It cost $3 a piece to sign up. Yea, prices are outrageous here at Wynmoor, aren't they. I don't really expect to win a set but I am going to give it my best shot. Burt has a broken vertebra in his neck and isn't very mobile. But his got very long arms and can get anything that come near him back. While I have pretty good court coverage and with do the running when needed. Of course against good teams that know court positions and how to play doubles, we will not stand a chance. But, there are plenty of players at Wynmoor that aren't much more mobile than Burt. Anyway, I'm doing it for the fun and actually to meet and play against some new people. Who knows who I'll meet?

Ok. Don't have anything else to say.

Well, that's about all that has happened to me that last couple of weeks.