January

Well, it's been months since I wrote in my journal. The reason? Just got tired of exposing my thoughts and life to the outside world. Plus, as I haven't been very sexually active, I figured that it was boring. But, since some subscribers seem happy to read boring details of my live, I thought I would start it up again. And hey, maybe just a little I missed writing down my thoughts and hopes.

First Dieter. He went to the his cancer doctor this week. He has another new spot developing and the tiny black dot isn't so tiny any more. Still, the doctor and we decided to wait and see for another three months before starting any new treatment. Guess he is going to give Dieter a cancer medication that women take for breast cancer ...tomoxin or something like that. Anyway except for a cold he doing fine.

We have visitors from New York City. Dieter's ex-lover, Sinan, and his 78 year old friend Joe. The came on Jan. 10th and are here until Jan. 25th. They are easy guest. They like to go to museums and shopping like Dieter does. So I can stay at home and work on the computer and play tennis, which make me more than happy.

Now let get this straight. If you are going to read this journal you are going to hear a lot about me playing tennis with the old men at Wynmoor as that's about all I do. So if that bores you then don't bother reading the journal and I don't want to hear in an e-mail how boring the journal it to you.

Tennis. I'm playing better. I hit with a group of several old men. Irwin, he's the leader. He's 90yo and can still hit a good ball. Can't hit for long periods of them, but does very well when he up hitting. He like my coach. Tells me what I should be doing and how to hit and anticipate where the ball is going. He's skinny as a bean pole with a mustache and a head of gray hair that is in the need of a trip to the barber. Next there Willy. He's in his 80's I think. Play on a college doubles team when he was 65. He's nearing the end of his hitting days as he legs are giving out and he has stomach problems. He nice looking kind man and super friendly. Next is Mark. He 60 and a stocky guy weighing about 240lbs and standing about five feet 10. He as a killer slice serve! The best of anyone at Wynmoor. He can't move very well and had a tough time standing up long enough to play a game, therefore he hits with our group. Then there's Burt. He's had a neck operation and his very stiff. When he first started to hit with us he could hardly move. His movement is much better and he can return most any ball hit with in reach. And last but not least there is George. He is one of the nicest men you will ever meet. He in his mid to late 70's. Can't move too fast but can get the ball back very well. Something after we all hit balls for about an hour, Mark and Burt will play George and I a set of tennis. George and I have been losing, but we are getting nearer to victor of Mark and Burt. Mark's serve is the killer.

So four days a week, I meet the above group of guys at the tennis courts at 9:00 AM. Sometimes others needing to tune up after being away from tennis and just down visiting and can't get a game join us. The older men and Mark take turns hitting while Burt and I usually stay up all the time. But occasionally we all take a rest and have a nice long chat about anything and everything.

It's not said out loud, but they all know that I'm gay. They also know that I have a porno website but having ever given out the name of it. Maybe George has stumbled on it as he knows my full name (Howell Roland) but he too much of a gentleman to say anything. But it doesn't matter to them that I'm gay.

When ever I play double with other (sometime a group will need a fourth and ask me...after not finding anyone else), they watch and cheer me on from the sidelines. They take pride that some one from our misfit group can play and not look bad with some of the better tennis players. Now, that's doesn't mean the side I play one wins. We usually loose, but I do make some good shot from time to time and they yell like young cheerleaders.

I'm slowly improving. And I should be as I practice from one to three hours a days beside hitting with my group. Just got a new racquet. It's a Wilson pro staff tour 90. It's a small stick and very demanding. Really too much of a player's racquet for me, but I'm determined to use it.

So, this is my life tennis. It keeps me from thinking about Dieter's health problem. It helps me curb my desire to have sex with others. So, I'm sticking to it. I don't go to the gym any more. So if you are looking to hear be tell you about all the naked old men from the gym, it's not going to happen.

I don't go to the bars.

I still make movies. Release Fisting Daddy last month and if you are into rimming and light fisting and like nakedwilly, this is the video for you. You can see a film clip of it at: http://www.enjoyoldpics.tv I would like to make a s/m video with fisting, whipping, CBT and fucking if a nice old abused slave will step forward to receive his punishment. So I'm going from plain vanilla to fetish movies. Will still make plain vanilla when new seniors step forward.

Ok, that's an update. Boring, yea. But that's my life.

1/16/05

Sunday. Guess I'll never get to like Sundays. And today it cold and windy. Ok, so it was 65 F. But that damn cold for South Florida. Still was nice (except for the wind) to hit the tennis ball against the backboard and practice my serve in the cool weather.

I had to cook tonight. Joe cooked last night. We sort of take turns cooking when Sinan and Joe visit. That is Joe and I take turns. I cooked chicken with a white wine/heavy cream sauce with grapes served with rice. Was very good. Tomorrow Joe with do a rack of lamb encrusted with roasted garlic.

Sinan and Joe wants Dieter and I to go with them to Key West. But I don't want to go. First it high season down there and I don't want to pay the high rates for a room what is half the price in off season. And second it too cool to go swimming (well for us locals at least) so all there is to do is walk up and down Duval street looking at T-shirt shops. Boring! I'm hopping I can talk Dieter in just letting them use my car and go by themselves.

Tomorrow I meet the guys and hit with them at 9:00. I do look forward to it. I like them all (some sexually others just in a friendly sense). I guess you would say they are my new friends. Well, I not sure if they are really friends. As I only know them on the tennis court. Oh, I see Willy and his wife sometimes as they live in my building, but the others I never see off the court. George isn't married. I don't think he's ever been married. At first I thought he had been as he kept say "when we came down to look at Wynmoor." But in the meantime I gather he is talking about his brother. His bother lived with him until he passed away a couple of years ago. I would enjoy inviting George over for dinner but don't think it's a good idea. Dieter might get jealous if I get too close to the guys I play tennis with. So, better to only see them on the court. Irwin is married. Mark is married. Burt was married twice. Divorced both wives. So, I guess the only think the five of us have in common is tennis. Still, I consider these guys my friends.

So, tomorrow starts a new week. Let see how it goes.

1/17/05 7:57PM

Well I said I would be writing a lot about tennis. And I didn't lie. Today I got to the club house early and a nice older man (80yo) asked me if I would play doubles. I know him from watching him play and sitting around chatting after games. I've even spoke to him a couple of times. Well, I told him I wasn't very good. He said he didn't care that he just liked to play and it didn't matter if he won or lost. Well we lost! I was terrible. Makes me nervous the play with new people. And the other two old men  (both skinny and in their late 70's) were retrievers. You know. Guys that push the ball back no mater how hard you hit it. So they destroyed me and Lenny (the name of the 80yo man I played with). Still Lenny was very nice to me and said he would play with me anytime. His words made me feel better. So, when ever their group is short a person, I think he'll ask me to play.

After I finished my game I went looking for my regular group of old guys I hit with. I found two of them, Irvin and George hitting with a two strangers. A man and a woman. The woman was short and looked to be in her 60's. He was blasting away at the tennis balls as hard as I have ever seen any hit a ball. She was awesome! And the strange man was almost as good. I felt sorry for Irvin and George having to hit against the two. Well Irwin and George stopped playing when I came up and told me to hit against the two.

Damn, returning Lucile's shots took all the limited skill I processed. She ripped shot after shot at me with the speed of a speeding bullet! And I ripped forehand slice after forehand slice back at her. She out hit me but I made her hit into the net more often than she was used to doing as she wasn't use to handling a hard forehand driving slice. The strange man, can't recall his name, stopped after only a few minutes, but even after everyone else left, she and I dueled it out for two more hours. And tomorrow I am going to meet her again at 9:00 AM and hit with her again. I tell you what, I am surely going to learn how to hit a tennis ball working with her. She is a terrific tennis player.

Well when I got back to the apartment I didn't expect to find anyone home. Dieter had said that Sinan want to go to the Norton Museum. Well he and Sinan had gone but Joe didn't. He was reading a book. Soon after I got home the phone rang. It was a friend of Dieter's. That all the information I'm going to give out on him. I've gotten in trouble writing about him before and am going to try to avoid that this time around. I really enjoy talking to him on the phone. Just the sound of his voice gets me hot. I try to draw him into a sexy conversation but he never falls for it. Still, unknown to him I jacked off while I was on the phone. It was fun even if he didn't realize that I was jerking off. It was some good clean fun for me. Didn't hurt anyone. He didn't know I shot off as we chatted.

Well, that was my wonderful day. God! I'm enjoying live! I know that sooner or later bad things are coming down the pipeline....but for now...life is sweet.

1/18/05

8:38PM

I'm tired. Tennis takes a lot out of me. Hitting with Lucile take almost too much out of me. She's the Energizer Bunny! But I did learn today that hitting hard alone doesn't make a good tennis player. While I was hitting with her and a guy from Chicago, I pounded the ball for all I was worth...only to find that a third of them were being hit long. After the guy for Chicago left. Jerry, an older guy I adore stopped by to hit with us. Well actually he was looking to hit with me. He's a snow bird and hits with his wife some morning. He plays games at night, three nights a week. Sometimes when his wife plays bridge or goes shopping he come out and hits with me. He is one handsome man! I think he said he is 73yo, but the ways he moves on the court you would swear he much younger. And from what I can see of him, he's very hairy! I love hitting with him. And I try to be very friendly with him and must admit that I touch him at every opportunity. You know on the shoulder, on the arm or pat him on the back.

Anyway, I sat down and let him and Lucile hit the ball. When he wasn't looking, Lucile whispered loudly to me that she was holding back. Well, now Jerry hits a good ball and can retrieve most anything you send his way. He wanted me to join him. He kept calling for me to come over and hit with him against her, so I did. Yes, I touched him on the arm. Felt a thrill race through my body.

So he and I started hitting against Lucile. And I stopped trying to blast ever balls past her. I started hitting hard but more controlled and yes I hit short, but then I saw that she couldn't cover the court well enough to get my well placed short balls. And then we started serving back and forth. Her serves were slow and I had no problem return them where I wanted to. Then I served to her. She handled my serves but couldn't put any pace on her returns. And the same with Jerry's serves.

So all of a sudden she wasn't invincible! Her power grounds strokes were fine when just hitting the ball back and forth, but in a game situation I think I can more than hold my ground against her. And oh yea, Jerry didn't like serving against me because I could easily handle his serve too.

As we were leaving the court, Jerry asked Lucile if she was married. She said no. Then Jerry turned to me and said, "Hey you two can get together."

I looked at Jerry and said. "I have a boyfriend."

Lucile spoke up. "I have a girlfriend."

He laughed. I guess he thought I was joking. Of course I wasn't. Maybe Lucile was. Who knows. And who cares.

And oh, yea, while I was hitting on the same side of the court as Jerry, he made a comment when I said something about how much energy Lucile had. He said. "Yea and I didn't take my Viagra this morning." I looked down at his the crotch of his pants and said. "Yes, I noticed there wasn't anything sticking out in your pants this morning."

And later he repeated the statement about him not taking his Viagra to Lucile. I really don't know what to make of his Viagra comments.

Anyway, it will be interesting to see if Jerry comes out to hit with me the next time his wife lets him out of the tennis courts alone again.

1/21/05

Jerry came out to play today. Sure made my day to see him. He didn't show up yesterday, neither did Lucile. So, I hit with the guy from Chicago. Jerry didn't come to the courts today until late, after Lucile and I hit with George, Irwin and the rest of the group. He was walking pass our court going to the court with the backboard when he called hello to me. He though Lucile and I were playing a game of singles. But I told him no and to come and join us. He did and seemed really happy. Yes, I touched him on the arm. Once I grabbed him behind the neck, you know like you used to grab your best friend. And once he touched my arm. Now he's married and probably has no interest in me, but damn, I sure enjoy being near him.

Lucile is beginning to treat me like a mother hen. Telling me how I should be hitting. Standing. Whatever! Most of it goes in one ear and out the other.

Jerry said he would try to come out tomorrow morning. But it all depends on his wife. I don't really expect him to join us late in the morning, but he might just slip away from his better half. I sure hope so.

 Even though Jerry looks Italian to me, I presume he's Jewish. I mean most people at Wynmoor are Jewish. And he's been wintering in Wynmoor for a long time. So, I think it's safe to say that he probably is Jewish. Doesn't matter in the least to me. He's good looking and fun to be around and that's what counts with me.

I think if he shows up we might try to get a game of doubles going if we can find a forth person. Of course I want to be on Jerry side so I get to pat him on the back after a good play... or maybe the butt...no don't do that Pete.  But like I said, I doubt that he'll be able to come out.

1/26/05

Well Jerry didn't show up. I saw him hitting with his wife. I guess he said something to her about wanting to go to the tennis courts and she probable said, "I'll go with you".

I hit with my Irvin and the group. Lucile joined us and proceeded to have an argument with Irvin who told her off! He really came down hard on her, telling her she was trying to control the group. Lucile came over to my side of the court to hit with me against George and Burt with tears in her eyes. I tried to stay out of their spat, but have taken a slight dislike for Irvin as he feels like he's the boss of the group. So on Monday, I didn't hit with them. It was cold (for here). The temperature as in the 40's at 9:00AM. So I waited until little after 10:00AM to go to the courts and avoided the group. I mean, hitting against Willy and Irvin isn't doing me any good. Now if they were men I admired I would still hit with men, but they really don't interest my socially or sexually so why bother. And I didn't.

On Tuesday, Sinan and Joe left for Brooklyn, NY. Dieter and I took them to the airport around 10:00 AM. I always enjoy Sinan, but Joe (his older lover...79yo) is just too complicated for me to deal with. The apartment was getting tense from Joe's shifting moods. He doesn't like to come to Florida, but Sinan (Dieter former lover) enjoys visiting Dieter so Joe has to come along.

It was nice to have the apartment to ourselves again. Not to worry about who eats what and if the dinner will come out right. I do like my privacy. Dieter and I have a routine which we enjoy and although we like to have visitors, it's always nice when we are alone again.

I went late to the court again to day. But ran into the group. They had court 3 which is right beside the clubhouse. Mark was what was up with me. Irwin asked if I had brought a note for being absent. George seemed happy to see me. I think he missed me not hitting with them. They were all sitting on the sidelines, except for Bert. He told me come on and let's hit a little. I just found out last week that Bert is 78yo. Man he looks 65 or 68 at the oldest. I was shocked. If it wasn't for his broken vertebra that keeps him for turning his head and interferes with his movements, he still be a hell of a tennis player. He hits the ball with such ease. So as the others watched we hit for a time.

So you see how boring my life is to write about. Tennis. Tennis. Tennis and more tennis.

Speaking of which, the tennis racket I bought on e-bay came this afternoon. I paid $128 for a New (plastic still on the handle) Wilson Ncode Six One Tour 90. It sells for $199 at most Tennis shops. You can order it from some Tennis shops on the internet for $179. And the one I bought came strung! I love e-bay! It is the place to buy things like tennis rackets! And I think lots of other items.

I took my new racket to the courts. Of course in the afternoon there's no one playing. But the mail man pulled in the tennis court parking lot about the same time as I arrived. Thinking he might be stopping to take a piss, I head straight to the bathroom. And sure enough he came in and went into the single stall as I was using the urinal. The door of the stall doesn't close unless you lock it. So when it swung open slight and the gray haired old mail man leaned forward to piss, I leaned back and look into the stall. He had a nice uncut dick. His dick looked small but beautiful!

So, I did see some dick today!

The new racquet played different. It seemed to have less power even though it was strung at a lower tension (which usually gave a racquet more power) that my old racket. But it seemed to have more control. It is going to take a week or so to really get use to how it hits, but I think I like it better than my old racquet (a three week old racket Wilson Pro Staff 90 and the successor to the one I got today).

When I got home, I stripped naked and took Dieter to the bedroom and had sex. The sight of the postman's dick exciting me enough to need to shoot a load.

So, I had a wonderful day. It 8:39PM and 67F. I'm sure that it's much colder where most of you live. Damn, I love living in South Florida!