June 18, 2008

Well the website is back up and running. So hopefully good changes are on the way. I hope to get a senior dating website up and running very soon. At least the guys that run my website now are working on it. So don't know exactly what form it will take but hopefully it will be something like Silverdaddies. Anyway I don't have the skill to write the code for such a website but hopefully they do. Now that the site is on the new servers I think updating the blog will be easier and hopefully I will get back to writing ever day again.

Later,

Pete

6/19/08

Tomorrow is my lover Gerry's birthday. He will be 70yo. We've been together since last September. It was hard getting use to a new friend after living with Dieter for 23 years, very hard. At first I was angry at Gerry because...well because he wasn't Dieter. He didn't do the things I was use to Dieter doing. Many times during the first few months I wished that I had waited. That I hadn't jump into another relationship so quickly. And there were many days when I missed Dieter so much I wished I was dead. I can remember lying in bed at night praying that I would just die (that funny from someone one that doesn't believe in GOD). But life doesn't just end when you want it to. Usually it ends when you don't want it to. But as they months passed, the burden of Dieter's death lessened enough that I stopped praying for death and began trying to enjoy life again. And Gerry's presence helped. He's a very strange person, but very loving. And I certainly get all the loving I need from him.

But let's not confuse loving with sex! As far as sex goes he's not even close to as enjoyable as Dieter was. Gerry's idea of sex is for him to lay on the bed face down and me fuck him and that's it. Nothing more. And he keeps private what kind of porno he watches on the net and what fiction he reads and what pictures he looks at. But I know that it's all about twinks! I've stop asking myself why if he likes 18 and 20 year olds so much why he's with me, a man who is 61. And why he will not allow me to watch his porno video with him (his usual porno video consist of twinks usually black boys fucking white boys or black boys fuck black boys). He's always telling me that sexuality is complicated and filled with contradictions. Well at least with him it's true. And I've learned to accept him for the way he is...like it or not.

Yes, merging with a new lover is difficult even in the best of times and even more so when one has just lost a lover of 23 years to cancer. But month by month the merger has occurred ... more or less. Now he wants to move back to San Francisco. We filled out an application to get on a waiting list for an apartment in the old neighbor where he used to live in San Francisco. I'm going along with it for now, but really haven't made up my mind about moving from South Florida to San Francisco. And in all likely hood we will not be approved for the apartment so that will end the move or don't move question.

Yes, Gerry will be 70yo tomorrow. I guess I'll take him out to dinner if he wants to go. He's a very low maintenance. He's on the computer or reading most of his waking hours. He reads about 15 different languages so it constantly reading foreign news papers. He's also a socialist! Oh me has that been the base of many heated discussions between us as, in his words, I tend to be a reactionary. So we've come to sort of a truce. I don't mock him being a socialist and he stops with the propaganda. Wow what one will do for love. Yes, love. As I've grown to love him. I can't say I love him as much as I loved Dieter but I do love him. Maybe in time I'll love him as much...who knows. But for now he helps me get through those bouts of depression that occur because of the empty void in me caused by Dieter's death.

6/20/08

Today's Gerry's birthday. And I must say that he's a very nice man. Yes, he's different and not Mr. Perfect (but then neither am I) but he loves me very much and that's what counts. He doesn't really celebrate his birthday so we probably will not do anything special. Today he is 70yo.

Being a masseur is like being on call all the time. I never know when a customer will call and want to come over for a massage. I had two massages yesterday. One was an older man (Straight, I think). He wasn't bad looking but so tensed up that he said he felt physically sick. I had to really go deep into his muscles to get the knots out. I say I think he was straight because I brushed my fingers against his balls and he said, "Oh, you better watch it." That reminds me. I have this old man, 82yo, in Palm Air who is straight and married. I'm massage him a couple of time. He has pain in his upper thigh and hip and I massaged his cute ass. And cute he was. I guess he's about 5'8" and real hairy. Handsome face and nice body for his age. Huge balls and thick cut dick. Then second time I came to massage him his wife was standing there as he told me to only massage him from his knees down and his lower back. When later when I asked him if you wanted his upper thigh massage he said yes. So I spent lots of time on the back of his thigh and his ass. His wife would poke her out into the room were I was massaging him and once she did so when I was working on the old man's lovely ass. She didn't say anything. And I must admit that I brushed my fingers against his huge balls more than once and that his old cock was about half hard  when I finished. He said he would give me a call this week for another massage. Well he hasn't called. I think the wife laid down the law to him and said no more massages. Oh, well it's for the better as I'm sure I would have kept exploring more and more of his forbidden zones until I got into trouble or he got a roaring hard on.