CHAPTER TEN

MY FATHER’S BILLFOLD

I pulled father’s billfold from his stiff cold body,

I wasn’t looking for money, mother had taken that already,

I looked for memories,

but my father didn’t carry a snap shot of me.

There was a picture of my mother on the day they wed,

there was a picture of our pit bull snarling and mean,

there was a picture of Uncle Bud even though he looked to lean,

but my father did carry a snap shot of me.

My father didn’t need a snap shot of me,

he could not of forgotten the drunken nights and wandering hands,

he couldn’t have forgotten the time he caught Ben and me in the middle of a scene,

my father didn’t have a snap shot but he carried a lot of memories of me.

Tommy Frank Jones

As the plane taxied down the runway lined with Austrian pine, Tommy Frank pressed his face to the window of the small Brazilian prop jet hoping to catch a glimpse of Jack. I have been gone a whole week, maybe he doesn’t want me back. I just don’t believe had daddy can make a mess of my life even in death, Tommy Frank thought and as the events of the past week flashed before him.

On only the second night at Jack’s, Cindi from the Rand House had called to tell him the police were trying to find him because his father had died. It wasn’t very puzzling how they had tracked him to the Rand House as they had know he was staying there having picked him up from there for questioning. Even now Tommy Frank remembered the look on Jack’s face when he learned that Tommy Frank would have to fly home for the funeral. Tommy Frank had asked Jack to come along but the older man had shook his head and said, “This is a chapter in you life that you should close on you own. From what you have told me you and your father weren’t very close so it isn’t going to be that emotional for you,” Jack had said calmly but his eyes had been flashing frantically.

Tommy Frank remembered thinking that he is afraid that I will not return and I am afraid that he will not want me back. That night they had frantic sex, Tommy Frank would never forget when Jack actually reached under the covers and touched his stiff swollen cock. It had been as though Jack had wanted to make a statement that he would try anything for Tommy Frank. At least that was the impression that Tommy Frank had read into the incident. Although, the older man hadn’t done more than just jerked his cock a few times, to Tommy Frank it had signaled a commitment.

The trip had been rough on Tommy Frank, not the death of his father, he took that easy as well as his mother’s grief. It was being away from Jack that he had found hard. He was so in love with the older man that he had been almost physically sick the entire time he had been out of Jack’ sight.

Then there had been Ben’s advances. He had almost cornered Tommy Frank in the shed one afternoon when Tommy Frank was helping with the chores. “You been playing around much down in Key West, Tommy Frank?” The balding little man had asked as he fondled himself.

“I have got a lover, I don’t play around anymore,” Tommy Frank had answered.

“Not even with me. You and I used to have some good times until your father caught us that day. But you know he never said much about catching you sucking my cock. In fact he used to go out of his way to take a piss whenever he was a round me. I swear Tommy Frank that a couple of time he would shake his old long pecker until he got stiff. Well, to be honest, he did more than that. He and I used to jack off in front of each other. We never touched the other one’s cock, but we play with ourselves until we both shot off. I swear your father’s cock was as long as yours, although not nearly as thick,” Ben said as he had unzipped his pants and reached inside to pull his cock out.

“I’ve seen daddy’s cock stiff more than once, I know just how big it was and no, Ben, I am not interested in fooling around any more!” Tommy Frank had said and then walked away. But the truth was that I wanted to suck his cock again, but I didn’t and that’s what was important. At least I am on the track of learning to control my sexual urges, Tommy Frank thought as he looked out of the window of the slow moving plane.

Then as the plan neared the terminal, Tommy Frank remembered his mother handing him his father’s billfold, “It is brand new. You might as well use it,” She had said. “I already took what money he had. Why don’t you sort through the stuff? I just can’t do that. Put his credit cards in the cigar box on the kitchen counter and I look through them later.”

Tommy Frank remembered how strange it had felt going through his father’s billfold. It had been stuffed full of little slips of paper with names and addresses of people he knew and of strangers. It was as thought he had been shifting through his father’s life.

Then there had been the snapshots. His father’s billfold had been crammed full of them. Tommy Frank had found a picture of his father and mother on their wedding day, a picture of his father’s brother laying thin and pale in a casket, and even a picture of Queen, the pit bull they owned when Tommy Frank was a boy. It had been difficult going through his father’s belongings. It had been one of the most difficult moments of the entire trip home.

 Suddenly it hit Tommy Frank as he stared out the window of the airplane why it had been so difficult for him to go through his father’s belongings, especially his billfold. Daddy didn’t have a snapshot of me. Tommy Frank put his head in his hands. I need Jack, the security officer, right now, Tommy Frank thought as the plane finally came to a complete stop in front of the terminal.

Tommy Frank pushed forward impatiently when the airplane door opened ignoring the nasty looks the other passengers gave him. When his feet touched the tarmac, he ran. He rushed inside the terminal and stopped to survey the small crowd waiting to greet arriving passengers.

Jack was not among them! Tommy Frank heart sunk. His heart began to flutter in his chest like a butterfly’s wings. He suddenly felt nauseated. He dropped down on his knees suddenly light headed as he tried to remember the one conversation he had with the older man while he was at home for the funeral. He knew that he had given Jack the flight number and time of arrival. “I’ll, be at the airport!” Those had been Jack’s exact words! Where is he? Why isn’t he here? God, don’t let me lose him. I just got to have someone to love.

“Are you all right, Young Man,” asked an older woman dressed all in white looking too elegant and delicate to be a conch.

“Yes, thank you. Just feeling a little air sick,” Tommy Frank said as he stood up.

“Yes, I think it is dreadful that we have to fly here on such tiny little airplanes,” the old woman said with a nervous shake of her head.

“Yes, I do too,” Tommy Frank called over his shoulder as he walked over to the baggage claim area. As he waited for his luggage, he kept looking at the door hoping to see Jack come rushing in to greet him. But his luggage was pushed through the slot and still no Jack.

At least I got a key to the house. Tommy Frank picked up his luggage and walked outside of the terminal and flagged down one of the waiting cabs. He gave them the address and climbed in. The cabbie tried to talk to him but Tommy Frank wasn’t in a mood to chat. He hardly noticed the wonderful array of flowering plants as the cab driver took back roads that were new to Tommy Frank.

He was in such a rush to get inside the house, that the cab driver had to call him back to pay him. Usually something like that would have embarrassed Tommy Frank to no end, but this time he hardly noticed. His mind was on one thing and one thing only! Jack and why he hadn’t showed up at the airport.

Tommy Frank didn’t find any answer in the house. There wasn’t a note or anything to suggest that Jack had planned on not being at the airport. This worried him more than anything else. Now he feared that something might have happened to the older man. He could have had a heart attack like his father. He could be in the hospital or even worst dead. No, don’t even think that!

Quickly Tommy Frank made a decision to go to Higgs Beach. Maybe Jack hadn’t been able to get off from work. Maybe it was just that simple. Tommy Frank took Jack’s old bicycle even thought he would normally have preferred to walk. Now speed was of the upmost importance to his peace of mind.

Tommy Frank realized that he would never be a Greg Lemans as he raced through the narrow streets of Key West. Even on the level streets he had a problem peddling the bicycle at the quick pace he had set for himself. In fact he finally was forced to slow to the speed of a jogger. By the time he turned onto Reynolds Street he was puffing like a blow fish and his calf and thigh muscles were burning as though they were on fired.

Yet in spite of his exhaustion he quickened his pace as he neared the beach. He took the corner so fast that the worn out tires of the old western flyer slipped and it almost skidded out from under him. Then as he peddled past the restaurant, he spotted Jack sitting at the last table. It looked as though he was writing.

Tommy Frank breathed a deep sigh of relief and the got angry. He got off the bike and pushed as he neared the last picnic table that was Officer Eaton’s unofficial office. Yet as he approached the older man all dolled up in his deputy sheriff’s uniform, Tommy Frank’s anger evaporated.

Jack looked up as Tommy Frank pushed the old bike off the sidewalk and under the picnic table.

“KID! YOU MADE IT BACK!” Jack cried out and stood up. He rushed over to Tommy Frank and hugged him. He started to kiss him but seemed to catch himself at the last moment. “Sorry, I didn’t make it to the airport. I was going to just slip away long enough to pick you up and about the time I was going to leave, a guy swam too far out and got into trouble.”

“What happened to him?” Tommy Frank asked.

“He drowned. He just yelled until he got everyone attention and then disappeared under water. They had to get some scuba divers to locate his body. I am just finishing the paper work for my report. By the time they carried him off, I knew that your plane had arrived. So, I thought you would go home and then come here looking for me. I didn’t feel that I could leave here after a drowning. Actually, I would have felt bad about leaving long enough to pick you up even if this hadn’t happened. I thought I could switch with Harry but he had a dentist appointment today,” Jack paused. “DAMN, KID, IT IS GREAT SEEING YOU. Feel’s like a month since you left. I been worried sick that you wouldn’t come back,” Jack said visibly relieved.

“Jack, I was worried that you wouldn’t want me back,” Tommy Frank admitted as he padded the older man on the shoulder.

They both looked at each other and nodded their heads as though agreeing with some unspoken understanding.

“Did you know the guy that drowned?” Tommy Frank asked as he sat on the bench beside the older man.

“Yes, it was that old character that came here all the time. I don’t know his real name but they call him Uncle Jake. He was kind of dirty looking at least his hair was and he always walked around in with a coffee cup or an old dirty tea glass that he takes to the bar with him. They say that he was rich, but you certainly can’t prove it by the way he dresses.”

“I know him,” Tommy Frank said. “I have seen him in the bars a lot. I saw him here occasionally and once he told me that he liked my writing. I guess Mr. Fish at school let him read some of my papers. But I didn’t know that he like to swim. I never saw him in the water,” Tommy Frank added.

“They think it was a suicide. I talked to some of his friends that hang out on dick pier and they said that he recently found out his had aids. They said that he had been acting strange the past several days. It certainly looks like he did it deliberately to me,” Jack said.

Tommy Frank saw the sudden concern on the older man’s face when he said the word aids. I just wish I had been more carefully myself. But that’s water under the bridge. My hat is of to you Uncle Jake. God, I hope I have that much courage if I get aids. “You get off work at three?” Tommy Frank asked.

“Yes, why don’t you go back home and stop by the store and pick up some hamburger meat and a bottle of the red wine that you brought home the first night and we will have grilled hamburgers and wine!” Jack said and wink at Tommy Frank. “I would make meat loaf but I think we will get the same affect as long as we have a bottle of your wine,” Jack added.

“I am sure we would get the same affect without any wine,” Tommy Frank said as he pushed the bike onto the sidewalk. “See you later, Jack.” He called out as he peddled away.

Instead of taking Reynolds Street across town, Tommy Frank decided to go down Duval. He had been away from Key West a week and wouldn’t feel that he was truly home until he visited Duval. He caught a red light at Simonton and South Street and as he waited for it to change he noticed two familiar figures come out of Papillon.

When the light change Tommy Frank crossed the intersection hoping against hope that the two men wouldn’t see him. They did!

“Well, well,” one of the men called out. The name Bill came to Tommy Frank’s mind. “If it isn’t the good-looking kid with the monster cock,” Bill said with an all knowing smile. “Hey, walk with us a way as we seem to be heading in the same direction,” the old man added as he elbowed his friend and winked at him

Even from afar Tommy Frank could smell the liquor on their breath. “Sure,” he said suddenly feeling himself falling into to his old ways as he remembered the night he had sex with the two old men. Those memories caused his cock to swell.

“So what have you been doing with that big cock of yours since you stopped dancing at the One Saloon,” Jim, the other old man, asked as he openly stared at the growing bulge in Tommy Frank’s pants.

“How did you know that I stopped dancing?” Tommy Frank asked.

“We went by the One Saloon and they said you weren’t dancing anymore,” Bill, the older one answered as he grouped his cock as he walked beside Tommy Frank. “We had been hoping to entice you to a repeat performance at our place, but we haven’t seen you around since that delicious night. Where have you been hiding that big cock of yours?” he added.

“I have been out of town,” Tommy Frank answered.

“Where, Ft. Lauderdale? You been using your big cock on some of those rich old men in Ft. Lauderdale?” Jim spoke up as though he didn’t want to let his friend hog all the conversation.

“No,” Tommy Frank answered and laugh, “I went home for a visit.”

“Oh, that must have been a real drag?” Bill answered. “How about coming home with us for some fun and games?”

Sexy images of the two old men naked blossomed in Tommy Frank’s mind. Then the image of Jack came crystal clear. He could see his brown eyes, graying dark hair, and dark tan arms contrasting with his pale torso and legs. In the image he was winking at him like he had just done moments before he left Higgs Beach. I have got to grab control sometimes if I want love! “Thanks guys but I have a friend now,” Tommy Frank said.

“You mean to tell us that one man can satisfy you!” Bill asked as though the answer was no.

Tommy Frank shrugged. “Maybe not, but I will not know unless I give it a try, will I.”

“Hey, there is nothing wrong with fooling around on the side, Bill and I do it all the time,” Jim said.

“My friend doesn’t think that way and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize our relation?” Tommy Frank answered.

“He will never know?” Bill almost whispered. “We could have a really good time, there are lots of things that we didn’t do the last time that I want to do to you,” he added still using a whispering voice.

“Thanks, but that’s part of my past, or at least I am going to try to make it part of my past,” Tommy Frank said with determination. The image of Jack naked surfaced and made his cock even more stiff. “I got all the sex I can handle at home,” he added.

“Well, if you get in the wandering mood, you know where we live and we would love to have you visit us,” Jim spoke up.

Temptation is good! I’ll never know that I really love Jack without temptation to resist. I don’t agree with President Jimmy Carter, I think lusting in the heart and not giving in is good cause it shows that you love your Matte more that the lust. “I really don’t think I am going to ever to be in the wandering mood, but if I am, I will remember your invitation. Got to rush along, and pick up a bottle of wine and some groceries. Catch you guys later,” Tommy Frank said as he climbed on his bike.

“Don’t worry, Bill, we will see the kid again,” Tommy Frank heard Jim say.

“I don’t think so, Jim. I don’t think so,” Came the faint answer from Bill as Tommy Frank peddled out of hearing.

Wow, what a good mood I am in now. Feels like I just faced the devil and won. I know it is not going to be easy at first to kick my addition to sex, but I am going to do it. And each day it will get easier. I am a one man guy now, for better or worse. Damn it feels as though I just said I DO! And I guess I did.

Tommy Frank felt like a nervous bride as he waited for Jack to come home. He kept thinking of all the fun they were going to have. He couldn’t get the naked image of the older man out of his mind. It was a struggle for him to keep from whipping his big cock out and jacking if off. He wanted too so bad as he was hot and horny from thinking of having sex with Jack. Yet he managed to restrain himself.

When the doorbell rang, Tommy Frank jumped from the surprise. Then he smiled as he got up. It was just like Jack to ring the doorbell. But when he turned to face the door, he spotted a strange man standing on the porch that looked like a slightly younger and skinner edition of Jack.

“Yes, Sir,” Tommy Frank said. “What can I do for you?” He asked before unlocking the screen door.

“Is Jack home? I am Paul, his brother.” The man stated.

“No, he hasn’t come home from work, but I expect him any minute. Come on in,” Tommy Frank said. He could easily tell that the man wasn’t lying. He had to be Jack’s brother. The resemblance was too close.

“Thanks, but who are you?” Paul said abruptly as he entered the door. He walked past Tommy Frank without bothering to shake hands and took a seat in the easy chair.

“I am a friend of Jack’s.” Tommy Frank answered surprised by the almost open hostility.

“So you are the queer kid living with him. The one that dances at the gay bar.” Paul said.

“I don’t dance there anymore,” Tommy Frank responded cautiously and with restraint even though he was rapidly getting angry. He didn’t bother denying being gay.

“I can’t believe Jack would let a queer move into his house. He must need money bad to rent out a bedroom to you!” Jack’ brother said.

“I don’t pay any rent. . . .”

“Hello, Paul,” called out Jack from the doorway. “I haven’t seen you in months, what brings you by all the sudden.” Jack added.

Tommy Frank caught an under tone of anger in the Jack’s voice.

“I was just talking to the kid. I came over here to fill you in on his back ground, Jack. You don’t know what you rented your spare bedroom to. Hell, everyone is talking about it. The kid is gay. I bet you didn’t know that?” the younger brother said with an air of superiority.

“Paul, I really don’t care what people say or think about me. Now, you of all people should know that or haven’t you learned anything about me,” Jack said in a steely voice that fitted nicely with his uniform.

“Yes, but Jack, you don’t know about this kid! He is trash, a real lowlife!” Paul said looking straight at Tommy Frank as thought he was something utterly foul.

“Paul, I will not have you talk that way about someone . . . someone that I love,” Jack said with his bottom lip noticeably trembling.

Paul’s mouth dropped open in shock. He sat there in stun silence. Then he glanced from his older brother to Tommy Frank and then back to his brother. “Your joking! Jack your pulling my leg, aren’t you?” Paul asked.

“No, I am telling you the truth, Paul,” Jack said in a quivering voice.

“But, brother, you are not . . . not a queer. You can’t possibly be in love with another man or kid or whatever.” Paul said his eyes darting quickly between Tommy Frank and Jack. “No, it is a joke.”

“Paul, I don’t know what I am, but I do know that I love the kid and that if you ever used the word queer in his presence, I beat the hell out of you,” Jack said in a hard firm voice that rang out cold as frozen steel.

“Sorry,” Paul mumbled as he stood up. “Well, I guess I better get home. Becky wants me to go with her to Searstown shopping before dinner.”

“Thanks for dropping by, Paul. Pleas tell Becky hello,” Jack said in a friendly tone.

“Nice meeting you, Paul,” Tommy Frank said standing up.

The younger brother hesitated and then walked away without acknowledging Tommy Frank. He stopped at the door and glanced back at Jack and said, “I am not coming back as long as he is in the house. I think you have gone crazy since Ellen left you. I don’t see how you can face your friends now.” Paul shook his head.

“Paul, I never have needed approval from anyone to live my life and I don’t now. If people don’t like me now then there were never my friends to begin with,” Jack said calmly.

“Crazy, man. You are just nuts,” Paul mumbled as he left.

Tommy Frank watched the older man carefully as he turned back to face him. Is he sorry that he met me? Is he sorry that he fell in love with me? No! There was hurt on Jack’ face but nowhere did Tommy Frank see any regret, but he saw a lot of need, great need. Tommy Frank rushed forward and hugged Jack.

The older man returned his hug a moment then pushed him back until he could look into Tommy Frank’s green eyes. “Damn kid, I am glad you are back home where you belong. I thought I knew what love was but I was wrong. I haven’t known you more than a few months and I realized today when I missed that plane that I love you more than I ever loved Ellen, and here I thought that was true love. Guess I got loyalty mixed up with love somewhere along the way. Now, I know the difference,” Then he pulled Tommy Frank to him and kissed the kid like he had kissed women all his life. “Hey, we better stop this or we will never get around to grilling our hamburgers,” Jack added as he broke from of Tommy Frank. “Let me get out of this uniform and into something comfortable.”

Tommy Frank followed the older man into the bedroom. “Can I watch you change cloths? I been waiting for a week so see you naked.”

“I don’t know why, there isn’t much to see,” the older man said as he began to strip.

“There is a lot to see,” Tommy Frank said as he dropped to his knees in front of the older man. “Take you pants off and let me suck it,” he added.

“You’re crazy!” The older man said but he quickly pulled down his pants and then shorts exposing his erect swollen little cock. “Tommy Frank, I just hope it is enough for you.”

“Jack, it is more than I will ever need,” Tommy Frank said as he reached for the older man’s cock.

THE END