CHAPTER NINE

Double Rainbow

Double rainbow

love, sex which gate.

Lover kisses, lover kills

heaven, hell

which rainbow which gate.

Tender sky, turbulent water

God’s love, devil’s hate.

Life, death which rainbow which fate.

Double rainbow double foil

love, sex which rainbow which gate.

Adrenaline rush, lovers toil

double rainbow double fate.

Thrill of love, thrill of sex

different rainbows, different gates.

Lovers cheated, cheaters loved.

Faded rainbows, faded fates.

Double love, double gate.

Double rainbow comes to late?Tommy Frank Jones

Tommy Frank waited until near ten before leaving the Rand House. He figured that everyone would be there by then and in a good mood from all the drinks. He actually had debated up until the moment he walked out of his room about even going. Clyde was a nice guy, but he didn’t want to sleep with him again. He had finally decided that the prospects of meeting some nice people out weighted the possibility that he would have to fend off Clyde’s sexual advances and possibly be down right rude to the rich man. I can’t believe that after all that has happened today that I am going to a party. But I think the encounter with Jesus helped me get over Walt’s death. It was as though I got revenge, Tommy Frank thought as he crossed the street to Clyde’s mansion.

Everyone seemed to have the same idea as Tommy Frank. People where three deep at the gate. Tommy Frank didn’t know anyone entering. Most were young numbers that Clyde probably had slept with at least once. Tommy Frank fought the urge to turn around and head to the 801, he could always do that after a look around.

Even when he got inside the crowded pool area, Tommy Frank didn’t see anyone he knew. He spotted the bar set up at the far end of one of the largest pools in Key West and decided it was time for a drink. As was fitting, the bartender was young and dressed only in a jock strap and a black bow tie.

“Beer!” Tommy Frank ordered to be easy.

“I know you,” the young man said as he handed Tommy Frank a can of Miller. “You’re that fantastic dancer. Man, I have watched you dance several times. Wish I could move my buns like you do. You are rad!”

“Thanks,” Tommy Frank said as took a sip of the beer. “Looks like a really nice party.”

“Yea, Clyde throws the wildest parties in Key West. Just about everyone on the rock is here,” the bartender said as he stared in open admiration at Tommy Frank.

“I see someone I need to say hello to,” Tommy Frank lied. “Catch you later.”

“Sure thing,” the bartender said and winked at Tommy Frank.

Tommy Frank pushed his way into the crowd until he was out of sight of the bartender. He knew that he shouldn’t be that way, but he just couldn’t stand to be on the receiving end of attention of a young guy.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Artist Cafe’ old dish washer,” Called out a voice behind him.

Tommy Frank brissled as he recognized the voice. I am not going to make a scene. I am not going to make a scene, He kept repeating to himself as he turned around to face Joe, “Hi, Joe, I didn’t know this was a wake for Walt too.” He said to the man with the bad skin. “How have you been?”

“Hello, Tommy Frank, I hear the police had a little talk with you,” Joe said with open hostility.

“And I am sure that I can thank you for it, Joe. But do you think Walt would have been proud of you for such a small act?” Tommy Frank said as he looked over the crowd as though Joe wasn’t important enough to hold his attention.

“You sack of shit! He never loved you . . . ”

“I know, Joe, I have heard it before. All Walt liked were big cocks and I am sure that explains why he could possibly go to bed with someone like you with such bad complexion. A big cock might be all you have got going for you, but I have lots more going for me,” Tommy Frank as he turned his back on the man.

“Fuck you,” Joe called out but Tommy Frank only waved his hand back over his shoulder at the fuming man.

Suddenly finding his vision blurred, Tommy Frank wiped his eyes. Just when I think I have come to grips with Walt’s death it hits me, Tommy Frank thought.

“There you are! I have been searching all over for you.” Clyde’s high pitched voice squealed over the hum of conversation. “Have you been hiding from me?”

“As a Mattter of fact, I have!” Tommy Frank wasn’t in the mood to play games.

“Yes, well, I am not going to jump your bones here even thought I surely would love to. I know when a wide body like me isn’t wanted. But, Dear Boy, you are so beautiful that just being near you is quite enough for this tired old queen. Now, come along and I will introduce you. Surely, in this crowd there is someone that you can’t live without,” Clyde said as he took firm hold of Tommy Frank’s arm and dragged him along.

Suddenlyl Tommy Frank’s mind wasn’t in to meeting new people. All he could think about was Walt and when his thoughts weren’t on him they were on Jack. I am afraid that I am beginning to feel the same thing for him I felt for Walt. I got to watch my feelings for him, they are getting too intense, Tommy Frank thought as he nodded his head to those that Clyde introduced him to. He didn’t even register the faces much less the names of the people Clyde paraded him in front of for the next few minutes.

“Excuse me Clyde, I want to get another beer,” Tommy Frank said as he abruptly broke away from an introduction with a smiling man named Otis whom he had seen riding around town on a scooter. Tommy Frank didn’t stop at the bar where the doe eyed bartender was trying to get his eye. He stumbled out through the crowd with blurred vision.

“Hey, how about saying hi to a friend before you leave,” said a voice that stopped Tommy Frank in his tracks.

“Jack, what are you doing here?” Tommy Frank said in astonishment.

“Well, I used to bring Helen, my wife, to Clyde’s parties. She loved to go to parties and like I said, I know about everyone on the rock.

“I am beginning to believe that you do at that,” Tommy Frank said.

“I would hesitate to ask how you and Clyde became acquainted?” Jack said as he took a swallow of his Miller Light Beer.

At first Tommy Frank didn’t catch the remark he was too busy looking the security officer over. He was dressed like they used to dress in the tropics in old movies. He wore white pants and a white shirt but neither of them looked expensive and they didn’t really fit him very well. He resembled Humphry Bogart in Key Largo. “I met him in the One Saloon,” Tommy Frank responded as the remark sank into his consciousness. “And we did end up here, if that is what you are hinting at,” Tommy Frank added.

“Oh,” Jack said with an almost hurt look on his face. “You have been getting around, haven’t you.”

“I am looking for a lover, Jack. I got to try the merchandise from time to time,” Tommy Frank added. “Aren’t you afraid what you straight friends will say if they know you are at such a mixed party as this.”

“I guess you haven’t been around me long enoug to learned that I don’t give a rat’s ass what people think about me or what I do, Kid.” Jack said. “Sometimes, I don’t think you really listen to me, Kid,” Jack added.

“Hey, what happened to the boxing Mattch I thought you were going to watch on HBO?” Tommy Frank asked.

Jack glanced at his watch. “It is probably just starting. You want to come over and watch it? The main event comes late.”

“Thanks, Jack, but to be completely honest, I am going to the bars cruising,” Tommy Frank said. I need to have sex to forget about getting raped by Jesus, He added under his breath.

“Oh!” Jack said obviously disappointed. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it without saying anything. Then he looked as thought he was going to say something but shook his head.

“I can see that you don’t approve, Jack.” Tommy Frank said.

“No, no, it isn’t that. I just thought . . . I just wanted to tell . . . I’ll see you tomorrow, Kid. You will stop by the beach to say hello?” Jack asked.

“Sure, a day without talking to you is like a day without sunshine,” Tommy Frank said as he reached over and squeezed the security officer’s arm. Just hope that I can find someone half as nice as you tonight. “Be careful and don’t get picked up by some of these drunk queens,” Tommy Frank teased as he walked away.

“Don’t worry, I am not into that scene.” Jack said with a faint smile.

And there lies the problem, Tommy Frank told himself as he left the mansion. Damn it, I got too quit seeing the man. I am getting more and more attached to him every time I see him. Got to find a lover and quit mooning over a straight man, Tommy Frank thought as he passed the Rand House without stopping. He needed a beer and he needed people but he didn’t need to be in the same room with Jack. He needed a trick for the night not some to chat with.

Char was behind the bar. She didn’t even ask him what he wanted. She placed the can of Bud on the bar as he took his seat. “Thanks, this one I really need,” he said as he paid her. “Keep the change.”

Tommy Frank drank half the can of beer before he brought it away from his lips. If I ever needed someone, it’s tonight. Tommy Frank glanced from face to face until he had cruised everyone. There was only one old man in the bar and he was with his younger Latino lover. His name as Chuck. He was a nice man, always friendly and talkative but not Tommy Frank’s type. Anyway he had a Costa Rican lover named Mark that was always drunk and unfriendly, at least to Tommy Frank. Should I try the other bars? Tommy Frank shook his head. He knew that he wouldn’t find anyone. He held up his empty beer can. And as he watched Char reach into the cooler, he felt despair flow over him like a cold breeze from the cooler. He needed someone, he needed someone that he cared about tonight.

“Char, do you have a telephone book?”

“Sure, Hon!” Char said with her full smile as he reached under the bar. “Are we down to picking out names from the telephone book?

“No, contrary to what everyone might think, I have not gone through all the guys in the bars yet,” Tommy Frank said and even managed to smile. “But I am not finished,” he added and winked as he took the book.

 He quickly looked up Werner’s number thinking that maybe it was time he call him. Maybe he and the old man could find comfort in each other’s arms. Tommy Frank desperately needed someone arms around him. What am I doing, it’s to late to call him. He is in bed by now!

“Thanks Char,” Tommy Frank said, placing the telephone book back on the bar. He lifted his beer and threw back his head and drained it completely. “Catch you later,” he added as he left the 801.

He walked down Duval thinking to just go home, but he walked pass Angela Street without turning. I can’t be alone just yet. He almost bumped into a man standing on the corner of Appelrougth Lane looking first one direction and then another. Even then Tommy Frank would have passed him by had the man not spoken.

“Excuse me, do you know where the One Saloon is?” the older bald man asked with a crooked smile.

Maybe there is a God after all. “Sure, step around the corner and I show you,” Tommy Frank answered giving the man the benefit of his best smile. “There, see that wooden fence with the swinging gate. That’s it.”

“Thanks, I must have walked by it three times. I just presumed that was the back of the Italian restaurant. The streets are confusing or I have had a little too much to drink.”

“I’m headed there myself. C’mon and I buy you a drink. Where are you from?” Tommy Frank asked as he took in the older man features. He wasn’t good looking, but not really ugly either. Although the man had the size of Clyde, he carried his weight more in muscle.

“Pontiac, Michigan.”

“I have never been there.” Tommy Frank said as they crossed the street. “I don’t think I want to go, it gets too cold that far north.”

“Do you live in Key West?”

“Yea, but I haven’t been here very long.” Tommy Frank answered as he approached the door.

“Cover charge tonight, guys. We have some hot dancers from Ft. Lauderdale. Oh, Tommy Frank, sorry I didn’t recognize you for a moment. Gust I should listen to my lover and get glasses. No charge for you and just between us you can dance candles around any of them,” Denis, the sometime doorman, sometime bartender said.

“Denis, he is with me,” Tommy Frank said talking hold of the older man’s arm. He felt hard muscle not soft flesh.

“Sure, Tommy Frank, go ahead,” Denis said.

“Thanks, Tommy Frank, and I guess now that I know your name you should know mine. It Jerry Murphy,” the man said with his crooked smile firmly in place.

“Tommy Frank is my first name. The South is bad about hanging a double name on you. My last name is Jones.”

“Tommy Frank, I like that for a first name. It is kind of different. What do you want to drink, Tommy Frank?”

“No, I said I was buying,”

“I am a tourist, I got to spend my money and I would prefer to spend it on someone good looking like you,” Jerry said as he pushed his way up to the patio bar to the left of the entrance. “What do you drink?”

“Budweiser!” Tommy Frank called out above the noise.

“Why are you bothering with an old fart like me?” Jerry asked as he handed Tommy Frank his drink.

“I only like older men.”

“Well, there must be some justice in the world. Do you have a lover?” Jerry asked as he took a sip of his drink.

“No, but I am looking very hard,” Tommy Frank answered as his smile faded.

“Well, I am not interested in a lover, but I would love to take you back to my room. I don’t go for kissing and fucking, but I love to suck and be sucked,” Jerry said bluntly. “And I got a nice thick cock, it used to be longer but something happened to it and now it stands straight up and curls back when it is hard now. The doctor had a name for it but I forget the word his used. Something about calcium deposits. Anyway it’s about an inch shorter now.”

I wonder what in the hell he is talking about. Damn, I would have to pick a guy with something wrong with his cock. Maybe there is justice in the world for some but I don’t think there is any for me. Guess I should have gone home and watched boxing with Jack and wacked off later thinking about him. “That doesn’t Mattter. I don’t care if your cock is an inch longer or an inch shorter,” Tommy Frank said. “As long as it is not gross looking,” He said under his breath.

“So, let’s finish our drink and go to my room. I am staying at the Lighthouse Court. My room over looks the pool. You can go swimming in the nude if you like. I sat around the pool and watched some young guys swimming all afternoon with my cock stiff as a board. They didn’t even bother looking my way. I don’t think it is very good to be Matture down here, at least not until I met you,” Jerry said as he sipped his drink.

“I am just glad that a lot of the other young guys don’t like older men. I don’t like competition,” Tommy Frank said.

“I like older men too,” intruded a deep masculine voice from behind them.

Both Tommy Frank and Jerry turned around to face the handsome dark haired young man with the look of a mannikin.

“Looks like I came to the right place,” Jerry said and nudged Tommy Frank.

The signal made Tommy Frank relax a bit. He knew the guy as a hustler and had seen him in action working on older men. He seldom failed. Tommy Frank wasn’t in the mood for competition.

“Jerry, I am ready to go any time you are,” Tommy Frank said as he brushed his hand against the older man’s leg.

“Yes, I am ready too.”

“You guys shouldn’t leave so soon. Stick around and have a little fun,” the mannikin said.

“We plan on having lots of fun,” Tommy Frank said in a steely voice. “Are you ready Jerry?”

“I have been ready from the moment I asked you for direction,” the old man said and flashed his crooked smile. Later when they were back on the street he added, “I knew that the guy coming on to me was a hustler.”

“I thought that you did but I wasn’t sure,” Tommy Frank said suddenly not so sure that he wanted to have sex after all. “Do you want to stop for another drink some place?”

“Not now that I found you, I don’t need to search through the crowds for someone desperate enough to let me talk to them,” Jerry said.

Tommy Frank hadn’t been inside the Lighthouse Court. It turned out to be beautifully laid out with a nice small pool. Jerry’s room overlooked the pool through huge French doors running the complete length of his room.

I’m glad he doesn’t want to kiss. I am not in the mood for fake love tonight. “Where is the bathroom?” Tommy Frank asked. I should just leave. A desperate night of sex isn’t going to help me. “Thanks, I’ll just be a moment,” Tommy Frank added after Jerry pointed out which door led to the bathroom. The image from the bathroom mirror wasn’t one that Tommy Frank liked. You should get paid for it because you are prostituting yourself tonight. But you are getting paid. Hopefully a few moments of not thinking about anything.

When Tommy Frank came out of the bathroom, Jerry was already undressed. He was a husky man with large muscles for someone his age. His cock stood up too stiff, so stiff that it curved back toward his belly button. It was thick as advertized.

“Do you like it? Do you like my fat cock?” Jerry asked as he began to manipulate the foreskin back and forth over the head of his cock. “Show me yours. I want to see what kind of cock a young handsome stud like you has. Show it to me!” Jerry begged.

Tommy Frank skinned his T-shirt off in one motion and then with less than four moves managed to drop his pants to the floor.

“Shit! Where did you get a cock like that, Son? I don’t believe it. Yours is even fatter than mine. I certainly can’t brag around you, can I!”

“You can brag all you want, you do have a fat cock,” Tommy Frank replied yet he got a kick out of the older man’s reaction. Seems that most people didn’t suspect that he had a big cock. He liked to shock them with its size.

“Let’s get on the bed. I got to suck that big thing!” Jerry said as he went first. “Come on and let’s do some sixty-nine. I don’t think I’ll be able to take much of that in my mouth,” Jerry mumbled as Tommy Frank got into position.

Tommy Frank was glad that Jerry’s cock wasn’t any thicker, he had trouble opening his mouth wide enough to take Jerry’s fat cock. Yet, he liked the older man’s cock better than he liked the man. He couldn’t help wondering what it would have been like to have had sex with Walt if Walt had a cock as thick as Jerry’s.

“I can’t even take a third of your long cock down my throat,” Jerry called out as he paused in his efforts to deep throat Tommy Frank’s long thick cock. “I really don’t see why you aren’t a hustler with such a big cock. I think I would even pay to have sex with someone with a cock this big.

I am getting paid, Tommy Frank thought as he took Jerry’s cock completely down his throat. It felt good to conquer the husky’s man fat dick. Now he needed to taste his cum. He began to suck and jack Jerry at the same time.

“Easy, not so fast. I don’t want to come so quick. Not so fast.” Jerry urged him.

Tommy Frank didn’t heel his wished. He wanted cum, he needed it. He needed that taste to excite him so that he could get off, to empty his mind as he emptied his dick.

“You’re going to make me come,” Jerry said as he stiffened.

 Tommy Frank tasted cum, sweat/salty cum.

“I’m cuming, I’m cuming,” Jerry cried out. Then as Tommy Frank’s big load flooded his mouth, Jerry’s words turned to soft moans and swallowing sounds.

Each sucked the cum out of the other’s cock.

“That was great, but too fast. I wanted to have sex with you all night. It isn’t often that I get someone as young and good-looking as you in bed. I wanted to make the most of it. Can’t you do it again, later?” Jerry asked as he kissed Tommy Frank’s limp yet still huge cock.

“No, I am a one shot man. Anyway, I have got to be getting back to my place,” Tommy Frank said rolling out of bed.

“Can’t you spend the night with me? I’ll take you out to a big breakfast tomorrow morning,” Jerry said as his crooked smile played briefly across his face.

“Can’t do? Got things to do tomorrow, but thanks anyway. Maybe I’ll catch you at the bar tomorrow night?” Tommy Frank said as he hurriedly dressed.

“Just tell me what time?” Jerry responded eagerly.

“I am usually there early,” Tommy Frank said as he zipped up his pants and sat on the edge of the bed to put on his shoes. But I will not be there tomorrow night.

“I hope I see you there. Tomorrow is my last night,” Jerry said in a disappointed tone.

“I am always easy to find. See you,” Tommy Frank said as he reached over and patted Jerry on his strong pale right leg. Then without another word Tommy Frank crossed the room and unbolted the door and walked out.

Do you feel better now? No but I did it for a short time so I shouldn’t feel guilty. I haven’t got anyone, I am not in love with anyone, no one is in love with me, so why should I feel guilty, Tommy Frank argued with himself as he headed home. Still, he felt like shit. Why did he keep going home with guys that he knew were only one night stands? Maybe if he had been more honest when he was with Walt things would have gone different. Maybe Walt had sensed his extra activities? Maybe he had known he was being cheated on? Tommy Frank shook his head. It was all water under the bridge. Walt is dead and it doesn’t Mattter now whether he loved me or not.

Suddenly Tommy Frank felt tired as he walked back to the Rand House. He didn’t even glance inside the 801 as he passed it on the way home. But once he got in his room and dropped onto the bed he found he couldn’t go to sleep. The events of the day made his mind race to fast for sleep.

He didn’t really mean to start writing. It just happened. He turned on the light and then picked up the pencil and started drumming with it on his spiral notebook laying on the table next to the bed. Then he started doodling and the next thing he knew he was writing a poem. Somewhere during the poem he fell asleep and dreamed of rainbows.

Tommy Frank woke up with vision of rainbows still fresh in his mind. Still, he didn’t feel cheerful. His dreams about rainbows had been as disturbing as the poem he had written. He felt as though life was rushing past him and he had stepped aside to rest. He realized that he couldn’t live without someone to love and that someone had to need him as much as he needed them.

I got to get on with my life! There other’s fish in the ocean and it is time to hook one, Tommy Frank thought as he glanced at his watch. It was early only six a.m. and Duval Street would be empty except for the early risers, usually tourist from the Midwest still carrying the baggage of their cornbelt work ethics. Sometimes is was fun to see them strolling Duval as though they were holy men surveying the town of Sodomy and Gomorrah to see it one last time before God turned it to stone.

I am certainly not in a good mood if I am already thinking about things in biblical terms. Got to get out of this room! The walls are closing in on me. Higgs Beach! I think I am most happy there.

Tommy Frank dressed and after a quick visit to the bathroom, headed to Higgs Beach. He took his usual route. First down Duval to South Beach. He walked on the tiny beach beside South Beach Raw Bar. As always there were the homeless which seemed to come out of the wood work with the first warm rays of the morning sun to spread their towels or blankets and sleep on the beach.

The South Beach Raw Bar was still closed. Tommy Frank like waking past it in the late morning when it was steaming with tourist. He often wondered what the pale skin tourist through when they looked at the beach and spotted him, tall, blond, dark tanned walking past. He couldn’t help wondering what they planned on doing and where they were staying. Were they going to Fast Buck Freddie or T-shirt Heaven to shop? Were they staying at the Pier House or the Holiday Inn?

Tommy Frank cut through the parking lot of the Southern Most Motel ignoring the no trespassing sign, turned up South Street. The walk along South Street always cheered him up. He couldn’t see palm trees and hibiscus and remain gloomy for long. That’s one of the things he loved about Key West, no Mattter how down he got, the island city was always there to cheer him up.

It was too early for tourist on the beach when he arrived at Higgs Beach, although that wasn’t the case for Uncle Jake in his bathrobe with his coffee cup. As Tommy Frank watched the man dance up to the edge of the water and reached down and touch it, he wondered for the hundredth time if the strange man had a lover. Maybe some people were turned on by his long stringy hair pulled back into a pony tail, or his somewhat course face, and unkept appearance, but he was not one of those people. Yet, he did find the man interesting especially now that he had taken an interest in his writing.

“If it isn’t the young Hemingway?” Uncle Jake said as Tommy Frank walked past.

“Hello, Uncle Jake,” Tommy Frank said as he paused. “Cruising the bathrooms already?” He joked.

“When you look like me, you have to start early and most times that doesn’t even help,” Uncle Jake said, taking a sip from his coffee cup. “And what is young Hemingway doing soaking up some local color for his book?”

“Yea, and you are definitely going to be in it. You and your tea glass full of booze,” Tommy Frank joked.

“Good, then I will live forever even when I die,” Uncle Jake said and turned and walked toward the water.

Strange, really strange, Tommy Frank thought as he headed toward the picnic tables. Tommy Frank chose Jack’s table. He sat at the last picnic table facing the water. It was calm now, unlike yesterday when he had spotted the double rainbow over at SMatthers Beach. Today the water was like a blue/green mirror. For the first time in weeks he felt like going for a swim. I just wish my mind was as calm as the water. If only I could stop my thoughts from racing so fast.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the late night cruiser!” Called a voice from behind him that made Tommy Frank smile even before he turned around.

“Officer Eaton,” Tommy Frank greeted his friend. “I see you made it to work before noon,” he teased. “In spite of going to rowdy parties,” he added.

“I might work for the county but I am not a county slut and never be. And I told you to call me Jack!” Office Eaton said in mock anger.

“You look more like Officer Eaton with your uniform than you do a Jack,” Tommy Frank joked.

“Yea, well this uniform hides a lot. Did you hear that the Cuban confessed to killing both your friend and the Pollack’s son?” Jack asked.

“Really, hey that’s great. Say, where is Werner?” Tommy Frank asked.

“So you are on first names with him. Are you always on a first name bases with someone you shared the restroom with?”Jack asked but when Tommy Frank didn’t respond he said. “He hasn’t been to work since his son’s death. The word is that he left Key West to go stay with his Sister in Miami,” Jack told him.

Werner is gone. He might have been my last hope! He needed me, I wanted to try it with him, Tommy Frank thought.

“You must not have had good luck last night if you are asking about Werner,” Jack said.

“I did all right. Met a nice tourist. He was really nothing special though,” Tommy Frank said.

“Don’t you get tired of the one night stands?” Jack asked.

“Jack, I am looking for someone to spend my life with. I want love not sex.” Tommy Frank confessed. “I’ll just keep looking until I find the right person.”

“Well, I know what you mean, I’m looking for love too,” Jack said.

I wish you would look my direction. “Funny we are both looking for love but I am looking for a man and you are looking for a woman.” Tommy Frank said. “Too bad we are not looking for the same thing,” he added.

“We are looking for the same thing, love.” Jack said as he looked away from Tommy Frank.

“Jack, why do you like me?” Tommy Frank asked the question that he had wanted to ask for a long time.

“Kid, I have asked myself that since I first laid eyes on you. I don’t know what it is about you. Maybe you have made some pack with the devil? I don’t know. I have lost lots of sleep pondering about you. And I am still in the deep woods,” the security officer said, shaking his head.

“If I disturb you so much, I’ll leave,” Tommy Frank said as he stood up. “You have been friendly to me and I have enjoyed talking to you, more than you know . . .”

“Oh, sit back down, Kid. I don’t want you to leave. In fact, I want you to drop by the house for meat loaf tonight. I bought some hamburger meat yesterday and am going to make meat loaf when I get home. It will make a big loaf and I hate to have to eat it for a week. I thought that I would invite you over, but it’s ok if you have other plans, I really don’t think you would want to come over. You sure weren’t interested in watching boxing with me last night.”

“Jack, to be totally honest with you I was very interested in coming home with you last night, but I didn’t want to watch boxing with you, if you know what I mean. I would love to come over to your house for dinner to night! But, Jack, you must know by now that I think that you are a hell of a nice guy and very good-looking. I am telling you this because one of these days I am not going to be able to restrain myself from making a pass at you. I do hope you will not be too angry with me when I do?” Tommy Frank in a flat honest tone. “Now, are you sure you want me to come to your place of meat loaf?”

“Yea, that’s what I want. Maybe, I’ll hate myself later, but that what I want,” Jack said in a suddenly uncertain voice. “It is just for dinner! You understand that, don’t you?”

“Sure, just for dinner!” Tommy Frank echoed his words and smiled. “Do you mind if I’ll bring along some wine?”

“I don’t drink much wine. I don’t think I ever had wine with dinner, but hell why not. In for a dime in for a dollar!” Jack said as he pulled off his official deputy sheriff’s hat and ran his fingers through his thinning gray hair.

“What time?” Tommy Frank said unable to keep the excitement out of his voice.

“Six, I eat early. Now, Kid, this is no big thing. I just want someone around to help me eat some meat loaf, that’s all,” Jack said. “Don’t get any funny ideas,” he added but his wink sort of took some of the seriousness out of the statement.

“Never,” Tommy Frank said. “I guess, I’ll be going. I got a class at the college today and have to write a paper for it,” Tommy Frank said. Mr. Fish is right, there is a time and place for everything, Tommy Frank thought. “And thanks Jack!” he said as he reached out as he walked passed Officer Eaton and put his hand on the older man’s shoulders. “You just saved my life,” he said and then trotted off before the security officer could respond.

Tommy Frank felt as though he was walking on a cloud as he made his way back to the Rand House. It was as thought he had been given a second chance and he wanted to do it right. I know Jack is just inviting me to have dinner, but I can’t help getting excited about it. Damn it I enjoy being with him so much. I feel like I use to feel when I was around Walt only even more so. Damn, I am falling in love with a straight man, I am going to have to restrain myself tonight.

Later as Tommy Frank told himself as he lay on the bed and began to write a story for the creative writing course he thought, I bet Mr. Fish will be surprised to see me. I hope he doesn’t ask me to stop by his office later. No maybe he should, I want to face up to the fact that I don’t want to have sex with him anymore. I am not going to bed with anyone unless there is a possibility of him becoming a lover. And how many times in the past have I made that pledge?

Tommy Frank had to concentrate. His heart wasn’t into the writing assignment. He wanted to write real stories, gay stories, he had to fight from writing about himself. Another time, another time! He kept telling himself as he forced the wrong words from his screaming mind. It was torture, but he was determined to complete the course. He didn’t want to put responsibility off, it had to start now and last the rest of his life. It has just got too!

Minutes ticked by like stretched out hours. He spent more time glancing at the unmoving hands of his watch than he did writing or so it seemed. Still, Tommy Frank fought the battle of a war that might be endless. He didn’t yield to his yearning to go to the 801 or visit Alligator Books, or even to stop writing and jack off. He didn’t allow any distraction to stop his hand from slowly moving across the lines of the white blank paper. Only when he wrote “The End” did he realize that writing the non sex non gay story and still putting himself into it was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.

Later when he entered the class, he couldn’t help but notice the big smile that Mr. Fish gave him as he walked up to his desk and handed in his paper before taking his seat. “I know it is late, but I hope it is not too late,” he said, laying the paper on top of an already graded stack of stories.

Mr. Fish began to read the story immediately, the smile holding on his face and even spreading to his eyes. More than once he glanced up at Tommy Frank while he read. Finally he finished the paper and made a mark on it with his read pencil.

“I am going to hand back your papers and then I am going to call on certain students to read their papers out loud. It is time that the class knows who among you are producing top drawer stuff. That doesn’t mean that the ones that I don’t call on aren’t writing good papers, it just means that a few are exceptional. First, I want Ms. Peggy Smith to read her story,” Mr. Fish said.

Tommy Frank sat through her story and then another one. They were both good stories and Tommy Frank began to feel that his writing wasn’t worth much compared to theirs.

“Tommy Frank Jones, will you read the final story!” Mr. Fish deep booming voice caught him completely by surprise. Surely Mr. Fish had made a mistake! Surely he didn’t want him to read that story that he had tortured out of his mind in place of the real story that he wanted to write. “Mr. Jones, we are waiting,” Mr. Fish added.

“Ah . . . sorry. Let see. Ok . . .” Tommy Frank began to read from his paper. His voice was nervous and crackling as he read. Then he became emerged in the story and the passion of the words filtered through his voice, first weakly but becoming stronger and more flowing with each word, until it flowed from Tommy Frank and became amplified by his masculine, yet slightly high gravely voice.

When Tommy Frank finished there as a long pause of totally silence. Then the entire class erupted in applause and words of praise that was totally unexpected. In astonishment, Tommy Frank glanced around and was shock to see some of the students wiping moisture from their eyes.

“Class dismissed,” Mr. Fish said without commenting on any of the three stories.

Everyone seemed to want to touch Tommy Frank. It was almost like getting off the bar at One saloon after dancing and having everyone rushing up to him trying to get his attention and catch his eye. Only, this time it wasn’t sex that the students wanted, it was as though just by touching and chatting with him they might learn how to write better. Tommy Frank endured them as he always had the groping customers in One Saloon. Finally only he and Mr. Fish remained in the classroom staring at each other.

“I am glad that you return to class. I had thought that I had lost you?” Mr. Fish said.

“You have and you haven’t,” Tommy Frank said as he lowered his head to break eye contact.

“How about stopping by my office?” Mr. Fish asked.

“No, I can’t do that any more. I like you, oh man, do I ever, but as a friend,” Tommy Frank said.

Mr. Fish looked at him for a long moment in silence. “Well, if you ever change your mind, just let me know,” Mr. Fish replied with a wink.

Tommy Frank nodded. “I do think we are going to get alone fine,” he said and they both laughed.

As he rode the bus down town, Tommy Frank had to pinch himself to see if he wasn’t dreaming. He felt too good for it to be real. For the first time since leaving home he was truly proud of himself. Maybe now I can finally separate the words a little, just enough.

Tommy Frank had problems keeping his mind off Jack the rest of the day. He sat on the bed in his room thinking about what a strange man the old security officer was and how much he liked him. But he is straight! How do I get myself into these things? I should have said no. I am just so hot for him. Each time I look at him I want to kiss him.

Tommy Frank left his room a little before five. He stopped in at Fausto for a bottle of Cote de Rhone feeling thankful that he had worked at Artist Cafe long enough to learn about wine. Thinking of the cafe reminded Tommy Frank that he was supposed to dance at the One Saloon tonight. He needed money, but would have to get by without it.

The walk to Peary Court took longer than Tommy Frank had thought it would. He was also beginning to get arm weary from carrying the wine when he finally spotted the street number on a small but nice CBS home. Smiling, Tommy Frank rang the door bell. He knew that he was happy because he felt like whistling for the first time in weeks. Strange how I am always in a good mood when I am around Jack.

“Hi, Kid, come on in. I see that you try to be on time.” Jack said as he opened the door.

Tommy Frank noted immediately that Jacks was in shorts. He like the man’s legs they were hairy and strong. He was also wearing a T-shirt that was a size too small, making his belly seemed bigger than what it was. He is natural. What you see is what you get! “Yea, I always try to be on time. I brought along a bottle of wine as I threatened.” Tommy Frank said as he handed Jack the paper sack. “You look different without your uniform. But I think I said that last night at the party”

“Around the house I dress as comfortably as possible. Even more so now that my wife is gone. Come on in. Should I put this on ice or something?” Jack asked.

“No, it is meant to be drunk straight out of the bottle,” Tommy Frank said.

“You can see that I don’t know anything about wine. But then I never said that I did. I do think I have a cork screw somewhere around here,” Jack said as he led Tommy Frank through a living room that definitely had a woman’s touch behind the decoration scheme.

“I left the place just as it was when she walked out on me. I don’t know anything about decorating. Maybe you will help me change it around some. I get tired of all the pink this and pink that,” Jack commented as he took Tommy Frank to the kitchen.

“Uummm, I smell something delicious!” Tommy Frank couldn’t help but to say, “makes me think of home.” He makes me think of daddy. Maybe that why I like him so much. I think he is a lot like daddy, a lot like him.

“Well, I am glad. That’s the way I like it. As the Spanish say “mi Casa su Casa” my home your home,” Jack added in English when he saw the questioning looking on Tommy Frank’s face.

“You speak Spanish?” Tommy Frank asked.

“Most of us original conches are of Cuban descent. We all speak Spanish of sorts,” Jack said as he fished in a drawer under the kitchen counter and brought out a simple cork screw. “See, I knew I had one of these suckers around here somewhere. But I know for a fact that it will have to be orange juice glasses, because I don’t have any wine glasses,” he added not embarrassed by the admission.

“It will taste the same out of a juice glass,” Tommy Frank said and smiled. He did feel at home.

“Myself, I usually have a beer before dinner. But I’m willing to try some of your red wine. Here is the cork screw, you do the honor being that you are the wine expert,” Jack said as he handed over the simple black handled cork screw.

“I never said I was a wine expert,” Tommy Frank remarked as he carefully opened the bottle of wine.

“Compared to me anyone is a wine expert. I have never drank wine that didn’t come with a screw top,” Jack admitted as he rubbed his stomach.

Tommy Frank poured wine in the juice glasses with great ceremony. He handed one to Jack. “Cheers,” Tommy Frank said as he held up his glass to touch it to the security officer up raised glass.

“Make’s me feel like I am in one of those romantic movies,” Jack commented before he tasted the wine. “Wow!” He exclaimed quickly as his face wrinkled in a frown, “This is going to take some getting use to.”

“The first sip is always the worst. Believe me, it will taste better the more you drink,” Tommy Frank said after he stopped laughing.

“Now, Kid, you wouldn’t be planning on taking advantage of an old man tonight would you?” The security officer asked, glancing at Tommy Frank out of the corner of his eye in fake suspension.

“Naturally,” Tommy Frank answered in as serious tone as he could manage.

“Then I guess, I’ll have to watch myself,” Jack answered in a more serious tone. “Come on, I’ll start the potatoes. I’m making mash potatoes. And we can go into the living room and chat while they cook. But tell me when twenty-five minutes is up,” Jack said as he turned the gas burner on and then headed for the living room.

“So, how is the dancing at the One Saloon going?” Jack asked out of the blue when there were seated in the living room both on the sofa.

“I guess it is going all right. I was supposed to dance tonight but I am here instead,” Tommy Frank admitted.

“Do you get lots of dates from customers that watch you dance?”

“No, mostly they are too young for me. I like older men, only!” Tommy Frank answered.

“Really! You mean you don’t go to bed with younger guys! I thought a cock was a cock to you gays?”

“Not to me, it might be to some. I never go to bed with a man usually unless he is someone I can fall in love with,” Tommy Frank said and hoped he could hold himself to it.

“Maybe you are like me and in searching of true love. I thought I had it for seventeen years and then one day my wife just walked out on me. Now she is marrying a man nearly eighty and it hasn’t even been a year since she left me. She even told one of her friends that she finally is having real sex and as often as she wants it. I guess I wasn’t too eager to have sex very often with her, but I never thought it was a problem. She and I had so much fun together, at least I thought we were having fun. Now, I don’t know what to think,” Jack said as he took a big swallow of his wine finishing it.

“Here,” Tommy Frank said, lifting the bottle of wine form where he had placed it beside the sofa. “Let me pour you some more.”

“Kid, you are trying to take advantage of a lonely old man aren’t you?”

Tommy Frank only smiled as he filled both glasses.

“Maybe if we had children, things would have been different,” Jack said as he took another swallow of his wine. “I must confess that I would love to have had a son like you, handsome, tall, green eyed, not short and fat like me. It would have been fun to have played baseball with you and done all the things that father and sons do,” he added.

“I wouldn’t know what things father and sons do together. My father never did anything together with me except make me be his gofer,” Tommy Frank said in a sad tone.

“Hey, maybe we can do those things together. You know like father and son,” Jack said. He cleared his throat. “Would you like that?”

“I would like doing anything with you,” Tommy Frank answered as he reached over and placed his hand on Jack’s leg. I knew this moment would come when I couldn’t resist making a pass at him.

Jack smiled nervously but didn’t make an attempt to dislodge Tommy Frank’s hand from his leg. “I like you, Tommy Frank, but I don’t like a lot of the things that you do,” he said.

“Like what?” Tommy Frank asked.

“Like being a stripper. I can’t tolerate that,” Jack responded immediately.

“I’m going to try to get a job waiting tables,” Tommy Frank responded.

“You go with a lot of men.”

“Yea, I do. Guess, I’m looking for what you called true love,” Tommy Frank answered.

“You expect to find it by sucking as many men’s cocks as possible?” Jack asked.

Tommy Frank shrugged. “I don’t really know how to answer that question except to say that it is sometimes difficult to separate words like sex and love, at least it is for me. But then there are a lot of words that I have problem separating.” I am losing him even before I get started. Tommy Frank squeezed the thick hairy leg he gripped.

“I think it is time that I mashed the potatoes!” Jack said as he reached over and patted Tommy Frank on the shoulder. “I do like you, Kid. Since, I first spotted you at the beach, you have turned my world upside down. Well, let’s head back to the kitchen, but first another glass of that wine. If you keep forcing it on me, I might even let you take advantage of me,” the aging conch said as Tommy Frank poured him another glass of wine. “I hope that you like mash potatoes. I didn’t do any veggies. I am a meat and potatoes man myself,” he added as they entered the kitchen again.

“So am I!” Tommy Frank said in a tone that caused the older man to lift his eyebrows.

“I think we are talking about different things here. Do you always think about sex?” He asked in a laughing tone.

“When I am with a good looking older man, always,” Tommy Frank answered.

“I think we should eat!” Jack said as he quickly mashed the potatoes.

“Anything, I can do?” Tommy Frank asked.

“Just take a seat at the table and I’ll have dinner served in a shake,” the older man said.

Tommy Frank’s mouth watered when Jack took the meat loaf out of the oven. It smelled like the meat loaf that his mother used to make. “Did you do any cooking when your wife was here?” Tommy Frank asked as Jack took his seat across from him.

“Actually, I did. I have always like to cook. I used to cook for my father before I got married. My mother died when I was in high school so I had to learn to do things around the house,” Jack explained.

Tommy Frank took a fork full of meat loaf, “Man, this is good.”

They ate in silence until their hunger was satisfied and that didn’t occur until the third helping for Tommy Frank and the second one for Jack.

“That was great, Jack.” Tommy Frank said as he followed the older man’s example and pushed his chair back from the table.

“Is there any more wine? That stuff grows on you,” the older man said.

“Yes,” Tommy Frank said holding up the bottle. “I would say that there are about two glasses left.”

“Then let’s have it in the living room. I think if I stay around you long enough I might even get a little culture,” the older man said.

“I have my doubts?” Tommy Frank said and they both laughed.

“You might be right,” Jack said as he let Tommy Frank fill his glass. “C’mon and leave the dishes until later,” he added as he headed back into the living room.

Tommy Frank crossed his fingers that the older man would again sit on the sofa. I am going to start where I left off. He let out a sigh of relief when Jack did exactly that. Trying not to appear too obvious, Tommy Frank sat on the sofa also and this time even closer to the older man than before. Don’t move away from me! Jack didn’t.

“Here’s to the best dinner I have had since leaving home,” Tommy Frank said holding up his wine glass.

“Here’s to the best company, I have had for as long as I can remember,” the older man answered as they touched glasses.

Both took sips.

Tommy Frank glanced down at the older man’s crotch cautiously. He didn’t see any bulge. He knew that wasn’t the case with himself. He could feel his own big cock stirring to life.

“What made you come down to Key West?” Jack asked.

“I read in a magazine that it was one of the gay Mecca’s,” Tommy Frank answered. “So when my father caught me in the shed sucking Ben, an older man that worked for daddy, and told me to get out, I headed here,” Tommy Frank answered honestly.

“Your father throw you out when he found out you were gay?” Jack asked.

“ Oh, he knew I was gay for a long time. I think it just made him mad when he caught me sucking Ben’s cock.” Tommy Frank said sorting out his understanding of the situation for the first time.

“And you came to Key West because of all the silly gays!” The older man said in an almost angry tone.

“I came here because I hoped that I could find a lover. I figured there should be a lot of retired older gay men here and I would have a chance to find a lover among them,” Tommy Frank explained a little nervously.

“Did you?” The older man demanded.

“I thought I had when I meet the owner of Artist Cafe. I fell in love with him but it turned out to be a one-sided affair. I still have very strong feelings for him, but it is too late as he is dead,” Tommy Frank confessed. “I have nightmares about him and when I wake up, I think I’ll just go talk to him or call him and straight everything out. Then in the next instance I realize that he is dead.

“I see,” the older man said in a more conciliatory tone. “And you only like older men. That’s strange,” he added.

“Well, strange or not, that’s me,” Tommy Frank said as he took a big swallow of his wine as though to draw courage from it. It is now or never! He reached his hand over and laid it on Jack naked leg. “I like you, I like you a lot,” he said as he moved his hand up and down the older man’s legs gently.

“Kid, I don’t know. I have never done anything like this. Oh, maybe when I was a kid myself I might have jacked off with a couple of my little friends, but heck that was when I was only a kid. I don’t want to do something with you that I’ll regret tomorrow when I don’t have alcohol in my system. Can you believe it, here I am going on sixty and as nervous as a school girl on her first date. Hell, I guess I have at least admitted that much. This is a date, isn’t it?” Jack asked nervously.

“I thought it was when you asked me in spite of what you said as a disclaimer,” Tommy Frank answered and laughed. The older man paused a moment before he joined in the laughter.

“But, Kid, I am not queer!” The older man stated in a firm voice.

“That’s what I like about you the most!” Tommy Frank said as he slid his hand up the older man’s leg until it touched his crotch.

“You will not find much there,” the old man confessed sadly as Tommy Frank’s finger continued to probe his crotch. “That one of the reasons I suspect that my wife left me. I didn’t give it to her very often and when I did give it to her it wasn’t enough.”

“It is enough for me,” Tommy Frank said as he fingers finally found the older man cock. It was small, probably as small as he had ever felt before. I don’t care! I have never met someone that needed someone as much as he does.

“Kid, I said I wasn’t a queer and I meant it. I can’t do anything to you. It will always be one sided. That can’t be any fun for you! But I can’t change,” the older man said in a sad voice.

“All I’ll ever ask from you, Jack, is some of the true love you been talking about. Just give me a little of that and you will make me the happiest man in the world,” Tommy Frank said as he fumbled with the older man’s zipper.

“I . . . I don’t know if I can love a man like that, Kid. I just don’t know. But I feel like I need you more than I have ever needed anyone in my life. I guess I felt I needed you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. Heck, I even played with myself in bed thinking about you even though I tried thinking of women. And to be totally honest, Kid, I felt bad about doing it later,” the older man explained.

“I’ll take my chances, Jack. I would rather take my chances with you than any other man in the world,” Tommy Frank said as he abandoned his efforts to fish the older man’s cock out of his pants and leaned over and touched his lips to Jack’s lips.

Jack started to push Tommy Frank back but the kid held firm. Then the older man closed his eyes and let Tommy Frank tongue into his mouth. It was an awkward kiss, but the best kiss that Tommy Frank ever had.

When they broke their embrace, Tommy Frank kissed the older man’s cheeks and then kissed him on the forehead.

“Let go to bed,” the older man surprised, Tommy Frank by saying.

“Sure,” Tommy Frank responded getting up at once.

“It kind of feel like I am going to bed with my son,” Jack said.

It feels like I am going to be with my father and that’s what I want it to feel like, Tommy Frank said as he began to undress as soon as they entered the bedroom. He beat the older man stripping. He felt awkward standing naked beside the bed as the older man secretly watched him out of the corner of his eye as he undressed slowly as though ashamed to take off his clothes.

“This is all there is,” the older man finally said as he pulled down his jockey shorts revealing a tiny uncut cock and a set of normal size but very low hanging balls.

Tommy Frank walked up and hugged the older man and again kissed him. This time Jack returned the embrace more readily as Tommy Frank reached down and began to massage the older man’s tiny cock.

“Is it too small for you? I know it is!” The older man said as they stopped kissing.

“No, it is just right. I love it and, Jack, I love you. Damn, do I love you,” Tommy Frank said as he dropped to his knees and took the older man’s tiny cock into his mouth.

“God! I never knew something could feel so good. I think I have been waiting for someone to do this to me all my life, I think,” Jack exclaimed as he took hold of Tommy Frank’s head and pressed it hard against his crotch. Take it, Kid, that feels so good!” Then Jack pulled back from Tommy Frank’s hot eager mouth. “Let’s get in bed. I want to do it right the first time.”

They both climbed into the bed and hugged each other then kissed. “I can’t believe I am kissing another man and enjoying it more than I ever did with my wife,” Jack confessed as Tommy Frank slide down to the foot of the bed and once again took the older man tiny cock in his mouth.

“Oh, oh, oh me, oh me, ooh!” The older man moaned as Tommy Frank worked over his little cock with all the skill he could muster.

“Easy, easy, I am fast on the trigger. I’M CUMING! I’M CUMING!” Jack called out in a voice almost loud enough to be a scream.

Tommy Frank swallowed the stream of thick salty/bitter cum that flooded into his mouth. He kept swallowing, surprised at the size of the load. When he finished, he slipped back up on the bed and lay beside the older man. Jack didn’t say anything but he did pat Tommy Frank on the leg before he turned over. Tommy Frank remembering how he used to sleep with Walt as he snuggled up against Jack’s back and kissed it. The older man reached back and padded Tommy Frank on the leg. This is the man for me. This is true love! Those were the last thoughts that Tommy Frank had before drifting off to sleep.

When Tommy Frank woke up the next morning he was alone in bed. He could hear sounds coming from the kitchen and smell bacon frying. I hope he isn’t fixing me a good breakfast for the road to make him feel less guilty when he kicks me out, Tommy Frank thought as he got out of bed and quickly put on his clothes.

“Good morning,” Jack called in a cheerful voice as Tommy Frank walked into the kitchen. “I hope you slept as good as I did.”

Tommy Frank was somewhat surprised to see that Jack was wearing his uniform. He looked even handsomer in the brown and white uniform. “I slept very good. I only woke up once and I smuggled up against you back and fell right back to sleep,” Tommy Frank said deliberately to see what kind of reaction he would get. The sooner I know the truth the better all around.

“Kid, that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Jack said as he walked up to Tommy Frank and pecked him on the forehead like he once must have done to his wife.

Tommy Frank touched the spot Jack had kissed.

“Sit, it is almost done. I like a good breakfast before going to work,” the older man said as he finished putting the fried eggs onto the plates and then pilled each high with bacon. “Here you go, dig in,” he added putting a plate before Tommy Frank and then sitting down to his own.

Tommy Frank’s hunger took over and he began to eat.

“Kid,” Jack said with a mouth full of eggs and bacon, “do you mind going to the grocery store for me. You can use they bicycle. It has a basket. I want to barbecue some chicken. I wrote out a list of things I need and left some money on the coffee table in the living room.”

“No, I don’t mind at all.” Tommy Frank said eagerly.

“After work, I thought we could go by the Rand House and get your stuff. No reason for you to keep paying rent there?” Jack said speaking fast as though he couldn’t say it if he spoke slowly.

“Jack, you want me to move in with you?” Tommy Frank said and crossed his fingers under the table.

“If you want to, Kid . . . I mean yes . . . you got to move in with me. Kid, I need you something terrible. Last night was the best night of my life. I know it might sound corny, but I guess I’ve been living a lie all my life and last night I realized it. But, still, I don’t think I am a queer. And, Kid, I will not put up with you running around on me. If you got to have sex with strangers then there’s the door. If you want to live with me then it has got to be just me!” The older man said firmly.

Tommy Frank nodded. “Jack, I don’t every want anyone but you.”

“Well, Kid, I hope you mean it and I am going to give you a chance to prove it. I know we aren’t married like my wife and I were, but I can’t look at it any other way. And I don’t care what my friends say when they find out that you are living with me. If they are my friends then everything will be the same and if they aren’t then they weren’t really my friends to begin with. I am in love with you, guess if the truth is known I have been since I first laid eyes on you. I can’t help that you are a man. True love it true love. You might think me crazy but I have my way of thinking. I don’t want you Dancing any more.”

“That’s all right with me,” Tommy Frank responded.

“I make enough money to support a wife and I make enough money to support a . . . a boyfriend . . . ah . . . a lover whatever the term is. So I don’t care if you work or not, but if you do, it has got to be an honest job and you got to do it the best you can. That all I ask. Now what do you want to do more than anything in the world?” Jack asked.

The question caught Tommy Frank totally off guard. But he knew the answer immediately. “I want to write. Jack, more than anything in the world I want to be a writer.”

“Then do it. I’ll support you 100 percent but you got to work at it and not just pretend,” the older man said with a nod of his head.

“But, I want to write about being gay?” Tommy Frank said and waited for the explosion.

“If that is what you want, I’ m behind you. I want you to be yourself and do what you want to do. If it is writing about being . . . quee . . . gay, that’s ok. Just as long as you are serious and that means going to school.”

“Thanks, Jack.” Tommy Frank said suddenly finding it hard to speak. “I didn’t expect this.”

“Well, Kid, neither did I. But I got to thinking last night after we . . . we had sex, it is going to take me a while to get use to all this, but I got to thinking that I had lived a lie long enough. Even if I only live another five days it is not going to be a lie. And I don’t want you to start off living a lie either. If you feel that you must write gay stories then do it.”

Later when Jack left, Tommy Frank sat at the table and began writing. He spent a long time writing on some loose paper he found. When he finished, he placed the poem on the coffee table and took the grocery list and the money. Tommy Frank couldn’t help but reading the poem one more time out loud,

THE KID AND THE SECURITY OFFICER

Kid: Will you hold my hand,

while I write my prose?

Will you tell me nay,

when words that come are not mine to say?

Will you let me dedicate all my books to you?

 Can I write about our male to male love,

can I tell the whole world?

Security Officer: Only if you love me.

Kid: Will you stay with me forever?

Security Officer: Only if you speak to me.

Kid: But the world awaits my written word,

I have no time to speak?

Security Officer: I can only love you I can not make you speak.

Kid: Can I write about our journey through our dark times,

long nights, bitter words?

 Will you follow where I must go,

as I dispense my written words to those that would do so?

Security Officer: Only if you love me.

Kid: Will you love me forever?

Security Officer: Only if you speak to me.

Kid: But my written words are plain to read,

why must I repeat them.

Security Officer: I can only love you I can not make you speak.

Kid: Will you read the poems torn straight from my heart,

will you stop my bleeding?

 Will you stay awake with me all night when my words are returned,

stopping my racing mind with your tender thoughts?

Will you let me continue to praise your body even through its changes?

Security Officer: Only if you love me.

Kid: Will you promise never to leave me for another?

Security Officer: Only if you speak to me.

Kid: But I can not bare the pain of speaking,

my written word would suffer.

Security Officer: I can only love you I can not make you speak.

Kid: Will you listen to my soul?

Security Officer: Speak!

I hope he likes it! Tommy Frank thought as he finished reading the poem.